Why Kenyan Men Need Valentine’s Day…

Today is the day I like to give my fellow Kenyan men the benefit of the doubt. We’re not all hyenas, laughing our asses off constantly and trying to hump everything with a pulse. We can also be romantic, we can be spontaneous, we can be thoughtful, caring, loving and most importantly we can spend a fair amount of time and money on you, because we know you’re worth it.

Key phrase in that paragraph: ‘Benefit of the doubt’.

In this day and age when terms like clande, mpango wa kando, chips funga are being put into practice left right and centre, it is clear that all Kenyan men are faced with an uphill battle when trying to convince those we love that they are the only ones we have eyes for. So what better way is there to win over the heart of your wife, girlfriend, date than to go that extra mile on the one day that she’s obviously expecting you to do something?Building confidence and trust is obviously not a one day affair so just because you wined and dined her, schmoozed and wooed her this entire weekend, that doesn’t mean she’ll forget everything you’ve done to her in the past, but trust me it adds up. This is the one time of the year you are expected to go out of your way to remind her why she fell in love with your dumb ass in the first place especially if you are part of the unlucky 24% of men who will be sharing their women with other men according to that InfoTrak-Harris Poll I saw on the news jana.

Everywhere I turn, all I hear is women complaining to me about Kenyan men, how they feel like they have to keep playing the role of mother as opposed to wife or girlfriend, how emotionally detached they are and most alarmingly is the growing claim that the Kenyan alpha male is dead. Kenyan men seem to have literally handed over the pants in the relationship to their wives and girlfriends and are simply content with letting her take care of them both. This situation is u n a c c e p t a b l e! Resurrect the Kenyan alpha-male! If for no other reason, let V-day be the time you refuse to let your manhood be questioned. This is the day you reclaim your rightful place as the man in her life and gladly accept the challenge of making her the happiest woman in the whole of Kenya. It shouldn’t be too hard to make a mark on V-day, you just need to use all the things you know about her and come up with something heartfelt that you’re sure she’ll appreciate. As she always says to me, it’s all about the little things!

If you ask me you’d rather your name came up in a conversation between your woman and her girls where she’s saying “You have no idea! I wish he was like that every day!” as opposed to something along the lines of “Who? Ati nani <insert your name here>That bastard hadn’t even planned anything. Yaani he wanted me to go and hang out with him and his boys! So I went over to <insert her clande’s name here>’s place last night and he cooked for me, we had wine, watched movies and then we <insert explicit activity here> all night long.”


Maybe it’s just me but I believe that although Kenyan men must endeavour to shower their women with love and appreciation every day of the year, I don’t see what’s wrong with going the extra mile one day out of the year?

——

Now playing: Jill Scott ft. Mos Def – ‘Love Rain’

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