Beware Horny Kenyans

Ladies and gentlemen, there is cause for concern. This time though, it’s not Kenyan women. Well, not 100%. See, it seems everybody’s hormones are fired up and raging, for no apparent reason.

Let me explain.

A good looking Kenyan, such as myself, was parking his car at Nairobi University’s Main Campus once upon a Wednesday afternoon. Oh yes, that car again. I was smelling as good as I usually do on Wednesdays, as I stepped out onto the campus. My mind was far away and my body was on autopilot. I was on a mission. “Walk to the office, get the document, back to the car, go home.”

Before I got 10 meters from the vehicle in question, a slender, gently scented hand placed itself on my chest and slowly slid up to my shoulder. I would’ve raised my eyebrow in alarm were I not already fully aware of how sexy I looked.

So instead I began to assess my assailant. Some under-clad twenteen year old girl stood before me smiling. I can’t lie, I can remember her chesticles better than her face. But to be fair, she had geography for breasts: Rift Valley as cleavage and Mt. Kilimanjaro on either side. And she seemed intent on making sure I got a good view as she shoved them in my stomach region. See, I’m about 6ft tall, and she was 5’3, maybe. Looking down, I felt like I could set my laptop atop that dashboard and begin surfing the web while having a discussion with her.

Eventually, after she was certain I had noticed all the goods she had in front of me, she asked “Where are you going?”

I stammered and then said “Working”, fully aware that that was neither a noun nor a destination. She asked “Can I come?” and my first reaction was “Normally, if you’re healthy, you should be able to.” But I didn’t say that. I realized she meant the other “come”, (or so I thought) and quickly switched gears. I gently shifted her hand off my shoulder as I gave her my spiel on how I have a very lovely, very dangerous lady to whom I pledge allegiance, and that I was flattered but no thank you.

As I proceeded to attempt walking away, I realized her hand had found itself on my shoulder again. She was still smiling. “She won’t find out,” she whispered and then nodded towards the Audi “Let’s go back to your car.”

This isn’t the first time something like this happened. I have been propositioned on Main Campus by more women than Tiger Woods has cheated on. Each time, I say no and each time, they get more aggressive. It’s not clear to me just when and where this epidemic begun, but there are now lots of dirty talking time-bombs in skirts strolling through your local Universities, looking for something to blow. And you should be concerned.

I know I lost half the male readers on the above paragraph, as they’ve all probably decided to take a walk on main campus and try their luck, but for the rest of you, here’s a word of wisdom.

If she throws it at you, you’re bound to catch something. If nothing else, be very, very careful.

As for you women, I don’t know what to say. The sensible ones among you will get offended if I make a general statement and the other loose-Lucy’s will probably not take the time to read through this rant. But to be fair, both guys and girls are equally to blame. I only mention the women because I don’t get hit on by men.

Anyhow, instead of giving my 2 cents in the post, I’ll open up the discussion in the comments. Why do you think young Kenyans have the sex drives of rabbits in heat? Why have they become more open to sex than they were maybe 10 years ago? Any thoughts stories and anecdotes, share.

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20 thoughts on “Beware Horny Kenyans

  1. what an interesting story. It is true judging from what i saw in kenya, alot of women have taken matters of hunting for a man into their own hands. They have gotten so aggressive about it, which for many men is a dream come true but one has to wonder whats the catch behind it…
    I also read there are far less men than women in kenya, so its more like only the toughest will get some male attention. Call me old fashioned but i dont think women should be pushy like that, thats supposed to be a man’s responsibility..

    • I agree…mostly. I dont mind anybody being flirty or even mildly aggressive in their pursuit. But the appalling lack of dignity in it these days is just wrong. Ladies will wink and smile at you while you’re holding your significant other’s hand, as if she can’t see that.

      But i think standards as a whole have dipped ridiculously. I pray for anyone who has to pick a wife or husband out of this bunch….

  2. I still maintain that macking a Kenyan chica is tricky. However, I must admit that I’ve also noticed that women have become slightly more forward/suggestive than I remember.

    Personally, I stay away from such thirsty mamas coz if she’s being like that with you, although its good for the male ego and all, you can imagine how many Tom, Dick and Waweru’s have fallen for the same isht.

    Men are hunters by nature. Let us set our sights on you and pursue you until things reach their natural conclusion. I have no problem with a lady who drops subtle hints here and there that’s she’s interested i.e. holding my gaze, cracking a smile in my general direction then looking away, giggling with her girls in her corner, dismissing her girls when i make my approach etc.. But that should be as far as it goes.

    Women should not be allowed to go around ” bagging” men! Period. But at the rate some of these Kenyan vixens keep bagging and sacking unsuspecting men, they should prolly be getting Heismann trophies!

    • Ok, Mister, I’m a guy, straight as a rod, but I have a problem with this attitude that alot of us Kenyan Men have. You say “Personally, I stay away from such thirsty mamas coz if she’s being like that with you, although its good for the male ego and all, you can imagine how many Tom, Dick and Waweru’s have fallen for the same isht”, which is all well and good.
      But what makes it different when when the question is, how many Wanjirus, Kokis, and Aumas have fallen to the same shit, when its a man?

  3. LOL! LOL! Y’all are hillarious! A women’s perspective perhaps? Well, while I can understand the change of women “roles” is daunting. I can understand the need to pursue (personally I want to be pursued). However, when there’s a shortage of pursuers and a multitude of those needing to be pursued…well roles shift. And with the increasing pressure to be married (for some) or others looking for fulfilment in all the wrong places (i.e. sexual relations)… well we have the situation we have here. There is hope… not all Kenyan girls are skanks… Some are still looking to be pursued… we also have to sift through the shortage of men to find one who is worth being pursued by…

    • Oh yeah. I thought I mentioned that. It’s not just women who are corrupted. I just can’t honestly speak from a woman’s vantage point on the shortcomings of men. Ergo this little comment discussion. Gather up your female troops. We’re interested in hearing what y’all have to say….

  4. Jo! Hiyo ni Blunder, other than the emerging reversed roles ( i admit like a third of chicks i have met-not mated- approached me halfway) but if the deal is too good, no matter the time, think twice.

  5. Another thing, why do Kenyan women always seem to be more interested in happily attached men?

    Truth be told, theres plenty of guys in relationships who get the kind of advances from women they wish they got when they were single and could actually do something about it. iCon and Lee, y’all know what it is! It’s like they can smell it on you, right?

    Ladies, explain yourselves and sh*!

    • How many women is it? It’s not all women. From what I’ve seen (and forgive my analogy but it explains my point) when men aren’t in relationships they seem a bit like rabid dogs… nobody wants to be bit by them. But those in relationships seem…more palatable (instead of tame) and women want to be treated well like that. Living in the hedonistic society that we are in and we want to feel good NOW, its easier to get a man who’s already been made palatable as opposed to trying to make an unattaced man palatable. The worst with the latter is that some other girl will benefit from your hard work. Its a dog eat dog society. Again its not all girls. And again I maintain it works both ways. The only reason some women will continue trying to seduce attached men is because the attached men before that one succumbed to it. Its a tried, tested and true formula. There are few who will withstand such wiles…and to those, if I were wearing a hat, I would tip it off to you.

    • Those attached are happily tamed and saves some of us the ish of pembelezaing a grown *ss man. Again the conquest of doing it is like a drug gives you a high all the time. Again its just me lol

    • Apologies for generalizations but attraction to attached men seems to be global…i have been told, its because an attached man is seen as an approved package, meaning he has qualities desired by his good lady and therefore transferable to other ladies…so they dont have to discover anything its all out there by the mere fact that he has a chile on his arm

  6. @ MisterNV, you just happened to be at the right place and at the right time, she may have liked what she saw as first impressions do count. Knowing how our Nai female’s are “Chance favour’s the prepared” and “opportunity only knock’s once”. Next time get rid of this good boy image and do your thing give her what she want’s

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