Women, Lose The Weaves!

Disclaimer: This does not apply to anyone with a medical condition or impediment that makes them have to wear a wig/weave, etc.

While walking around my favorite campus, I saw a trend that bothered me so much I decided to interrogate a lady about it.

“Why do you wear that fake sh** on your head?”

I asked the above question to a good friend of mine. She replied by going on about it being easier to manage and blah blah blah. I told her she was lying. I knew why she was doing it, but I wanted to know if she would be honest about it. So I told her what I’m about to tell you.

There are few reasons that matter more when it comes to why women wear weaves than that they think it looks good. There’s this stigma that natural African hair is ugly and this 3 foot skunk fur on your head is supposed to be more attractive. Because these are the standards set by models and actresses and sex symbols that all the men around you drool over. Your Beyonce’s, Rihannas, Halle Berry’s and all this; they fuel this illusion that to be gorgeous you must have “nice hair”.

It’s only natural to assume that getting that track put in will attract more male attention and female appreciation. And it will. But at a cost.

That cost is not however much you spent on buying that thing and have it sewn or glued in, not even the time and delicate care it requires to keep it looking somewhat realistic. But the fact that the minute you put that on, you admit that you lack confidence in your own appearance, pride in your ethnic predispositions, and enough backbone to not compromise basic values for the sake of social acceptance.

By all means, do not for one second think I don’t appreciate how hard it is to keep natural African hair looking good. Riddle me this though, all things considered, don’t you put that same effort into keeping fake hair looking good? And even if that’s not the case, what type of image do you create for yourself and what type of attention does that person garner?

I’ll quote the feminist cum rapper Tupac Shakur on this one.

“Fake hair, fake nails, fake eyes too,
So you’re bound to mess with fake guys too.”

Yeah, if your dude is sitting next to you petting the plastic fibers on your head right now telling you they’re hot, reconsider. He’d probably like to stuff some silicon in your chest region and turn you into a real Barbie doll.

I honestly don’t know how dudes like that operate because I’m allergic to idiots. But I do know how real men think. And I’ve seen them make puzzled expressions and heard them crack a vicious joke as some dark skinned lass walked by with red and yellow hair, and a matching outfit, looking like a Spanish flag.

We know you’re not a natural blonde. We’re aware that your hair is not 3 feet long. We are African too, and know just what your hair should look like. We sincerely hope you’re not doing it for us. Seriously. A compromise can be made for the argument of a perm, but please, women, embrace your beauty and remain natural. You are all gorgeous. You don’t have to let out your inner Angela Davis and let your ‘fro grow. But at the same time, you can stop turning your heads into pieces of abstract woven art.

We’ll love you just the way God put you here.

25 thoughts on “Women, Lose The Weaves!

  1. I don’t know how many men talking in low tones it will take for the ladies to finally get the point. I have heard those vicious jokes too. A couple of random keg-reeking guys comparing the hair on a couple of women: “Hizo nywele ni za Tuskys ama za Nakumatt sasa?” (Is that hair from Tusyks or Nakumatt Supermarket?” and one of the guys says “Haijalishi, zote ni za risiti” (It doesn’t matter, they all come with a receipt).., and the ROFLMAO followed.

    I don’t do hair. I’m as bald as my armpit. Never felt sexier. I get the occasional isn’t-she-too-young-to-have-cancer look but I really don’t mind. However, I’m yet to quite understand what guys think about bald headed women who choose to be that way. I went out once with this guy who kept looking at my scalp and I had to raise my eye level just to maintain eye contact. Well, at least he wasn’t looking at my chest. So, think you could shed some light on what guys think of the bald ladies? You know, Alek Wek, Kaone Kario and Me?

    • Truth be told, alot has to do with the shape of your cranium and your facial features. You must understand, going bald only looks good on women that have appealing facial features and well-shaped heads.

      NB: The standard for “Appealing” and “Well-shaped” vary from guy to guy. But I think most men would agree that a decent enough bench-mark for all you lovely bald women out there is as follows: amber rose would be first, Cassie would be second, natalie portman in “v for vendetta” would be 10th, and Britney Spears “agatha” from “minority report” would be 192nd.

    • Bald is definitely better than fake hair, if you ask me. I knew this one girl though, had the most spherical head in history and kept her hair at a low fade. But she also used henna on it and it never quite caught properly and so she ended up looking like a dirty tennis ball.

  2. Amen, for real! Eish I have seen women who keep weaves on their heads until it looks like something’s festering beneath there, gross…
    You’re quite right BUT until Beyonce and Keri Hilson stop trying to fool the world, I don’t think your average woman will either.
    And what about women who get weaves just to switch things up? Like if I have long hair and want it short without cutting it… Does that look fake too?

    • “switching things up” is part of the reason, women sport these funny-looking weaves in the first place. You should be grateful that you and those hot amazing big sisters of yours that you still havent introduced me to have long luscious hair. If you’re really feeling the urge to “switch things up”, do braids, do rows or something – just dont get on the weave train!

      • Hahaha!! Okay okay, I hear you! Thanks for clearing that up 🙂 Oh are we still keen on the Mwesigye women? Sure, one big sister, coming right up!

  3. Let it be known:

    There is nothing wrong with sporting hair weaves. PER SE. However, hair weaves should be treated like any other beauty accessory. The key is not to get overzealous with hair weaves and sport a style that is appropriate for the occasion and compliments the individual.

    3 issues i have with all weave-wearing women:

    1. If your weave is considered a primary color, then there is a huge problem.
    2. Nappy hair and silky weave do not go together, yet many women cannot seem to match the texture of their own hair and the weave.
    3. Last but not least, invest in quality hair. Do not pay 5 dollars for some plastic garbage and not expect folks to question your judgment.

    *drops the mic and walks off the stage*

  4. Finished. ‘..just as God put you here.’ Ladies, you can justify, defend, produce receipts, show me tax benefits in support of your weave… Whatever. But I will remain with the crew sipping my pint, snickering and pointing at the growth on your head from the corner. Keep it natural

  5. I’m not sure my cranium is like Amber Rose,but short hair’s my choice, having sported a perm for 15 years.
    Wore a weave for a total of 1 day. Human hair sijui what. It itches like something else. No idea how ladies survive.

    • lol, I feel ya, Gai nilido perm for 4 yrs, human hair(total bull) for 2 days, the heat was unbelievable, am still wondering how they do it. Am doing a wahu now for like 1yr. Only its natural and very simple to maintain.

  6. you need to understand that braiding isnt always the best option because it cuts your hair a lot. A weave is usually a good and safe option coz all you do is shuka lines and the thing is sewn on, glued on or whatever. It gives your hair a break, with less damage and breakage, and if you have the right one on you can look fabulous.
    but yes i think women really need to stop being stingy and buy good quality human hair if they decide to take the weave route.

  7. Women with lase fronts n they still open they mouths saying a good hair is a fuckin nappy hair/straight hair God didn’t give you non of that,shut the f*ck up n relax/braid that short hair…a b*tch won’t lemme touch her hair cuz they’ll fall off..again the gay men are rockin this sh*t to show they feminine aspect..wtf??

  8. Let me play devil’s advocate for a minute.

    What environment are we talking about? America? The US? Where for hundreds of years “black” women have been mistreated, put down, and made to believe they are less than beautiful. I’m not generalizing, but keep in mind what’s given. Black women were abused and raped by their masters during slavery. Have you ever seen those dolls that served as representations of black way back when? With the obnoxiously large white lips and the black faces? Wow. Female slaves treated like toy Barbie dolls–picked up and ‘played” with when their owners got bored? Remember roots? After slavery, they were often mistreated by their own husbands and for some bizarre reason resented. Ever see The Color Purple? Forget the movie comparisons, that shit happened. Even today, and yes I’ll say it, today more black men are leaving their “beautiful, natural-haired African-American women for women who have “nice hair” and “long hair” so their kids can also have those features. Don’t get me wrong, I 150% support interracial relationships, I am a dark skinned female currently in one. I am not however in my relationship because I’m hoping that one day my offspring might have “good hair”. What’s my point? I am not justifying any woman choosing to alter her appearance. But I will attempt to explain it. I don’t believe that adding in fake hair is any different than wearing a padded bra, putting on makeup, and throwing on some heels to tone up those thighs. The minute a woman does anything to alter her physical appearance, it is fair game to say that she cares about how she is perceived by the people that surround her. If the simplest adjustments are acceptable in today’s society, then other adjustments should be criticized on an equal scale. Tupac? Great rapper, could call him a poet even but truth–he was not a black woman. Period. Let’s try the Bible. “Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone”…..um, if anyone can say they have done absolutely nothing to make themselves more confident, creative, attractive by his/her own definition–by all means okay–I have the utmost respect to those who have never felt like they could improve themselves for whatever reason. Otherwise, I think their are two sides to this argument as there are in every argument. How a woman chooses to wear her hair is her prerogative. Who the hell cares? If it looks good, it looks good. If the hair is a hot mess, then it’s that woman’s problem to deal with and her waste of money. What I cannot stand is people, especially African Americans who spend unnecessary time focused on the girl who just walked by. “Is it a wig? A Lacefront maybe? Or Weave? She had green eyes too, maybe she’s a little Indian or part Italian and has that good hair”. Really? OMGGG, who cares! We really need to stop rolling eyes, making faces, turning noses up at others, and hatin’ on people, especially our own people. I cannot express how angry it makes me to see people so concerned about another woman’s hair. Get your priorities straight and worry about the real issues in the world, like the oil spill and how it’s affecting shrimp revenue in the south. Just Kidding. But seriously… Also going back to what I was saying before, I am not personally concerned about how black women choose to where their hair. It either looks good or it doesn’t. Whether it’s human, synthetic, heat tolerable, or clip on is irrelevant. However, I just want to throw out there that there are reasons and explanations as to why some women may feel the need to do so aside from vanity. In American society, that whole, long hair look is what sells. The small percentage of dark females that are considered by American standards as beautiful are specifically known for sporting that look. Some people look great with short, or nappy, or anything other than long/straight hair and good for them. Realistically, in this society, if you want to be able do certain things you have to assimilate to the culture and the environment and let’s face it, Media controls the US. So the media tells us from young that to be “x”, “y”, “z”, you have to do “a”, “b”, “c”. You can choose to play that game, or sit and judge others that do. I will say this and speak for myself, but it is STILL very challenging to live as a Black women in American society, so give us a break for wanting to add a little bit of length or color to our hair! I understand the argument of some people going too far, but truthfully can we really judge anyone. If a black woman has blue weave…is that much different that a white woman who does the same thing. Newsflash, Black women aren’t the only people doing this. Celebrities and everyday people do the same for whatever reason. In fact Jessica Simpson has her own brand. Hair in general is the choice of the individual, but can we stop acting like it’s completely random and ludicrous for some women to feel the need in this society to, in a sense, “keep up with the Jones’s”. Maybe when athletes stop cheating on their wives with “good haired” women, and African American women are taken more seriously in the professional world, when we stop seeing single moms, baby-mamas, etc, then we can come back to the question as to why and when enough is enough. But for the record, can we please focus on something of real significance, like why some people still can’t accept that we have a Black president, why the youth of our society still has little drive to be successful and complete education, and why there are so many single moms!

    Also–I have worn “fake” hair. I wear my hair natural. I love both. I have beautiful naturally curly hair that takes 2 hours that takes 2 hours and a lot of product to straight, and I have fake hair that adds length and body to mane. My boyfriend likes my hair either way, and is more concerned about my mind and character than anything else. I do what I like with my hair and have no one to answer to but myself. So if people want to roll their eyes or stare at my roots, good luck, and grow up.

    • Hmm. Valid argument.

      Just to quote something said in the text. The hair will do wonders for your looks and self-confidence, “But at a cost. That cost is not however much you spent on buying that thing and have it sewn or glued in, not even the time and delicate care it requires to keep it looking somewhat realistic. But the fact that the minute you put that on, you admit that you lack confidence in your own appearance, pride in your ethnic predispositions, and enough backbone to not compromise basic values for the sake of social acceptance.”

      To answer your question, The context is the Diaspora – ergo the name Diasporadical – more specifically, Kenya. That said, I’ve lived in the states a healthy number of years and to some degree I feel I should reply to some of the concerns you raised. So much so, that I’ll write a blog about it(Many thanks for the inspiration).

      I’ll be sure to email you once it’s posted.


    • I completely get where you’re coming from. Today’s is a world where a woman’s physical appearance is what men use to define her and unfortunately, what she uses to define herself. And as a girl who’s worn her hair natural all her life, I can write you a book on how difficult it is to maintain and how it’s virtually impossible to impress even 20 people with it.

      But moving away from aesthetics, I advocate natural hair any day of the week for health purposes (which, iCon, I hope you approach one day). Weaves usually involve plaiting cornrows so that they can be sewn or glued on, as Nkirdizzle pointed out. However, these cornrows and whatever else cut a woman’s hair just as much as braids do, not only when being worn but also when it comes to taking them off. Many women don’t have much patience when it comes to this and so it’s “pull what’s being difficult and get on with life”. Plus, if anyone’s taken a look at Naomi Campbell’s or Tyra’s hairline, you can see what years of endless weaving has done to them (a condition known as traction alopecia). So while braids and weaves are great for low manipulation of hair which in turn could mean healthy hair, a lot of it depends on general hair care no matter what state it happens to be in.

      Also, while perms may seem to be the lesser of two evils, it really isn’t. The chemicals found in a hair relaxer not only damage your hair and (scalp) skin, they could lead to some serious burns and in some cases, blindness or damaged vision from the fumes. One of the chemicals, I forget which, can actually eat through steel in a metals in a matter of hours.
      I’m not suggesting in any way that this applies to everyone. I know a woman who’s probably in her late fifties who has never plaited her hair, braids or otherwise, and by extension, never worn a weave. Her hair’s been permed for decades and it is hands down the most healthy looking chemically treated hair I have seen before. It’s even healthier looking than some natural hair.

      I like your example about the heels and the make up and what not. It makes sense…to an extent. However, a reasonable woman (and here’s hoping that many Kenyan women are) will stop wearing a certain brand of make up, or all make up even, if it begins to cause skin irritations or bleaching (unless that’s what she’s going for) or other undesired side effects. Similarly, this woman will cut back on heel-wearing if she finds it damages her back or makes her a bit shaky on her feet. So why shouldn’t it be the same for unhealthy hair practices?

      That said, I agree with you that it IS a woman’s prerogative to do with her hair as she wishes, just as it is to wear what she wants etc etc. At the end of the day, it shouldn’t be solely about what a woman looks like and those with natural hair shouldn’t feel they are better than those with permed or fake hair. It’s unfortunate that that IS what it has come to be about but… It shouldn’t. Natural hair is a pain a lot of the time, and I’ve been tempted on several occasions to perm mine. But for me, I feel it’s completely worth it. I once read somewhere on the vast interwebs an interview with a woman who was asked why she had made the decision to go natural. her response: God made the decision, I never countered it.

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  10. misternv said it like it is. I agree “If the weave don’t blend it aint your friend”, but at the same time, a weave is just an accessory, and 9 times out of 10 the hair underneath is braided (so it’s still African).
    White celebrities like Jessica simpson and Paris Hilton even have a couple of tracks here and there. We really shouldn’t be telling people what to do. If you rock a weave and a good one at that, then be happy. if your hair is relaxed, be cool with that. if its plain old nappy, you should also be happy.
    Just saying . . .
    btw TUPAC was no feminist, just confused, he still called women bitches and hoes . . .

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  13. What about the females who wear weave because it looks good? I love my hair and I know I have beautiful hair, but once in a while i’ll go and buy myself a weave. Not because I” lack confidence in your own appearance, pride in your ethnic predispositions, and enough backbone to not compromise basic values for the sake of social acceptance.” I have nice short hair and i’m proud of it, It looks damn good. I’m also very proud to admit that i am kenyan, and i don’t really give 2 f#cks about social acceptance. I hate when people think just because I paid for my hair i must lack self-confidence. Really? Maybe braids dont quite cut it for me. And dont get me started on Natural hair; Do you know what kind of time and effort it takes to manage natural African hair? Like i said before, i love my hair. I take very good care of it, but i love a good weave too. Now, your definitely not gonna catch me with a blond weave that brushes my ass, but that doesnt mean those who choose to are whatever you labeled them as. True some of them do have problems,but not everyone. I dont know what part of that you men cant understand.
    This is not me dropping an acidic comment. I’m actually a big fan- we jus have different views on this.

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