Disclaimer: You will find a clear distinction drawn between grown ass Nai women and typical Nai chicks. If this dichotomy offends you in any way, uhm.. *&^%$!@#$%!
I now understand why women hate women so much, particularly grown Nairobi women. Most of it has to do with the fact that a good number of you women (yes, you and you, too) hate the fact that some of your fellow femalefolk have totally ruined men for you. Finding a good man in this town is already hard enough. In addition, you now have to deal with the fact that this
‘good’ decent man has already been poisoned against women through his past relationships. The culprit in all this? None other than those small-minded Nai chicks with extremely girlish tendancies that he was dating before he met a grown-ass real woman such as yourself.
So, let’s explore the ways in which these crazy Nai chicks have ruined all men for you.
Right off the bat, he thinks you’re out to control him. Its not your fault. All the typical Nai chicks he dated before you were out to control every aspect of his life. He loved them, he genuinely did but over time the ball-and-chain became too much. So he cheated. She found out. Then it got messy. So they split. Now he’s worried the same thing will happen with you. But you’re a grown ass woman, you’re not like the others. You know that if he’s truly yours, he doesn’t need controlling. Guidance, perhaps but controlling, no.
At the back of his mind, he imagines that keeping you happy is “spoiling” you with money and gifts. This is one of the biggest reason why most Kenyan men think that all Kenyan women are gold-diggers. Besides, the Nai chicks he was with before he met you made it clear that its all about spending money on them. He has to cater to all their material needs in order for their ‘love’ to survive. If he cant ‘take care’ of her, his manhood is automatically brought into question. So, a grown woman such as yourself will have to deal with this expectation he thinks all women have. He’ll soon realise that grown women are able to ‘show’ him what they expect of him and make him comfortable enough to reciprocate, without fear of losing his ‘manhood’.
Basically, he’s going to assume that you’ve left your schedule wide-open and you’re waiting for him to call you and make plans. That’s what typical Nai chicks expected of him. After a while, it gets quite boring being the one that’s always arranging the meetings and making the plans while she just sits waiting for you to call her and tell her when and where. For a change, I’m sure he’d love to be with a grown woman who makes her own plans and finds a way of involving him in those plans of hers. I know I would.
Before he met you, the typical Nai chicks he was dating expected him to call and check in with them every hour on the hour. Now, its embedded in his brain that ‘if I don’t want to get her mad, lemme just call her, just for the sake of calling’. But as a grown ass woman, you don’t get hung up on small things like: “Why didn’t he call me today?” “He only texted me twice today”. You understand that communication should not a chore nor should it be a ritual, it has to flow on its own without preconditions. Besides, being the grown ass woman you are, you’re way too busy during the day to notice little things like “Why didn’t he call me today?”
Fear of being alone:
The typical Nai chicks with their girlish tendancies made him think that he always has to make time to be with them because they’re “afraid of being alone”. So, when he starts dating you, you will realize that he’ll constantly want to spend every waking moment with you, purely because he does want you to “be alone”. What he may not know is that a grown ass woman such as yourself don’t mind being alone, in fact you revel in it. Being alone allows you to have you-time for introspection and personal growth.
This ties in with the “controlling” and “fear of being alone” aspects. The truth is that, he’s not used to having me-time. The crazy Nai chicks he dated before he met you insisted on monopolizing all his time which meant that he couldn’t hang with his boys without an issue being made of it. As a grown woman, you’ll make him realize that a little bit of space between you too is actually a good thing in that it makes the time you spend together even more special. Besides, grown women also have their own grown ass women friends they need to spend time with.
Okay, I’m done with the list.
My point in all this? It’s true: most men cheat and hence I understand why women call us ‘hyenas’ which is to say that men are “dogs”. Although according to National Geographic, hyenas are actually not a species of dogs, but I digress. I’m not trying to explain away all the hyena’ish things that men do by blaming them on the people they dated in their past. Well kinda, but not entirely. My point is that I expect all you grown women out there to know that sometimes the one you love, may not realise how different you are from what he’s had in the past aka them crazy ass Nai chicks. If he cant distinguish between a grown woman and a Nai chick then leave him alone and move on. Not all men in this town are ‘hyenas’. Grown women of this city should not give up on us men but rather exercise caution when dealing with us and gauge each of us fairly on the basis of our individual strengths and weaknesses.
Women, please don’t lose faith/hope in us men. If you don’t have hope in us, who will?