The SoapBox: “Health Care? Who Cares!”

This delayed edition of the SoapBox is brought to you courtesy of KRA: Where getting your Pin number online has to be done over the phone. Or in person.

I wasn’t going to write this until some happy-go-lucky randomer ran up on me at Yaya Center as I was perusing the newspaper and said: “Have you heard about Obama passing the Health Reform Bill? How dope is that?”

Yes, I’ve heard and to answer your other question, it’s not dope.

Listen, I’m Kenyan. Born and bred and such. However, I pay taxes in that land of stripes and stars. You know, Obamaland. So if anyone should celebrate here, I’m guessing it should be me. But I’m not.

In all my years living there, I have learned 2 things. First, Brooklyn, New York is built with coagulated testosterone and and dried up liquid awesomeness. Makmende knows.

The second thing is that I shall never be American.

“I don’t want to be American!”

Initially, it was a matter of choice. I’m a proud Nairobian. I bleed Black Red and Green, and pee Tusker. That whole conversion of nationalities seemed like complete hogwash to me until I realized how hard it is to be a foreigner there. There’s only so many times you can say “What do you mean ‘Random Security Check?'” before finally going “Right, Kenyan, got it. Just be gentle.” and proceeding to bend over.

“Wait, I CAN’T be American?!?”

After frustration peaked, I began considering becoming American. It was futile. Yeah, that Green Card nonsense is Unicorn poop. You can assimilate, but you’ll never fully be accepted. And even that assimilation takes forever. Never mind the paperwork and humiliation you have to go through, you literally have to swear off your ancestry and history and become a cultural abortion just to fit in be accepted.

As a result, I’ve decided that any legislation passed, does not directly affect me unless it has the word “Immigration”, “Tax”, or “Kenya” on it. Even though I live there*. And you should do the same.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s good to stay informed and yes, Obama has made history. but for Christ’s sake, don’t obsess over it. You’ll wake up with your government (and theirs, ironically) still raping you silly, while you smile at their accomplishments.

Speaking of hidden surprises, watch how much hate Obama will garner from this. The country is about to suffer a painful blow before anything get better. And they know it. He knows they know. Which is why he should count his days carefully. And that’s about all there is to say on the matter.

But all this chit-chat going on all over the place….unnecessary. Spending all day talking about the intricacies of their health care bill, when they obviously don’t give a drop of warm piss about you or where your kids will get basic medical care seems…backwards? No?

Folks, there are only 3 countries that should be concerned with that bill are:

1. America: Because “Duh!”
2. Mexico: Because they treat sick Americans. True story.
3. China: Because they’re funding it.

The rest of us need to calm down.

That is all.

*Normally I’m in the US. But I’m in Kenya now

9 thoughts on “The SoapBox: “Health Care? Who Cares!”

  1. Amen. Kenyans follow all things American instead of doing abit more to sort out their own country. Obama is not and never has been Kenyan. He’s been in power for about a year and Kenyans still seem to think that he’ll perform miracles for them. Good luck on that.

    If anything, Obama should be a major lesson to us. On father’s abandoning children, the value of education and giving a chance to the common man to realise their potential as well as dedication to one’s ideals etc.

    • Agreed, I have a workmate who is ever obsessing on Obama being his cousin apparently they come from the same village.. WTF, I cant stand Obama, he aint Kenyan but is ever making comments about us.

      • If one is in the States and will thus be affected by the new laws, then by all means go on about it. For other Kenyans who think that by virtue of Obama’s dad being Kenyan that they should follow and cheer on his every action – misplaced priorities.

        I am a great fan of the man although he hasn’t performed as well as I’d have lked. Realistically though, he could never live up to the hype.

        I’m glad the reform was done, I live in the US and although I’m employed my insurance went up 40% in the last month with NO increase in benefits, thus I have a bvested interest in the Bill’s passage.

        As for Obama’s right to comment on all things Kenyan, if we didn’t constantly run to the US and othe Western nations, begging bowl in hand, then perhaps we’d have a valid reason to act offended. But if you require me to pay for shit in your country because your shiteous leaders value self-enrichment and tribalism over nation building, then by gosh I will have something to say about your shenanigans.
        If we don’t want him and others opining on our nations, we should keep our affairs in order. We don’t.

        My 2c

      • Wairimu, America is constantly running to China for help, does that give chinese the right to talk about American matters?? I think not

      • Unlike the US-China relations, the U.S. gets loans. We Kenyans beg for handouts- because we just killed of our economy, agricultural sectors, killed off productive people from the ‘wrong’ tribe for daring to excericise their right to live wherever and vote for whomever, beg for food for the starving masses while govt officials enrich themselves with the food that said poor masses should be getting, beg for debt forgiveness… dare I go on?

        BTW, China basically told the US to sort out their finances a while back ago coz China was being exposed to too much risk.

        Apples and buckets. Nothing similar about the two situations

  2. Pingback: The Soapbox: Health Care ? Who Cares! Diasporadical

  3. Tee hee hee! I cant believe we’re still obsessing over Obama. It was all fancy and all when he won the election, but I cringed when I had to speak to my friends from abroad and trully confirm that we got a public holiday for it. I mean, honestly, who cares? The man is not Kenyan. But still we linger and we hope. I’m still in doubt whether that Nobel peace prize was trully deserved but I’ll leave that for another day.

  4. Wairimu well said, although it’s only been a year and i don’t think we should be rating him harshly yet. Bush was in power for 8 yrs and never got half as much critisism, despite the fact the fact that the morgage industry was collapsing on his watch. Obama has to pick up the pieces and gets all the blame. Mimi if i paid your tuition and you are not performing up to par then best believe i will have something to say. Lastly whoever came up with obamaliday needs to step down coz clearly he/she does not have the courntries priorities straight we need to worry about how to achieve our own success and not throwing other people’s parties’ for them when we can’t afford it. In other news check this out:Minnesota Teacher Susan Mukuhi Mwarabu Accused Of Biting Off Man’s Ear –

    • Thanks.

      BTW, what’s with Kenyans aibisharing wananchi? Mara folks are biting off years, crawling into bed with perfect strangers etc. Aibu gani?

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