This delayed edition of the SoapBox is brought to you courtesy of KRA: Where getting your Pin number online has to be done over the phone. Or in person.
I wasn’t going to write this until some happy-go-lucky randomer ran up on me at Yaya Center as I was perusing the newspaper and said: “Have you heard about Obama passing the Health Reform Bill? How dope is that?”
Yes, I’ve heard and to answer your other question, it’s not dope.
Listen, I’m Kenyan. Born and bred and such. However, I pay taxes in that land of stripes and stars. You know, Obamaland. So if anyone should celebrate here, I’m guessing it should be me. But I’m not.
In all my years living there, I have learned 2 things. First, Brooklyn, New York is built with coagulated testosterone and and dried up liquid awesomeness. Makmende knows.
The second thing is that I shall never be American.
“I don’t want to be American!”
Initially, it was a matter of choice. I’m a proud Nairobian. I bleed Black Red and Green
, and pee Tusker. That whole conversion of nationalities seemed like complete hogwash to me until I realized how hard it is to be a foreigner there. There’s only so many times you can say “What do you mean ‘Random Security Check?'” before finally going “Right, Kenyan, got it. Just be gentle.” and proceeding to bend over.
“Wait, I CAN’T be American?!?”
After frustration peaked, I began considering becoming American. It was futile. Yeah, that Green Card nonsense is Unicorn poop. You can assimilate, but you’ll never fully be accepted. And even that assimilation takes forever. Never mind the paperwork and humiliation you have to go through, you literally have to swear off your ancestry and history and become a cultural abortion just to
fit in be accepted.
As a result, I’ve decided that any legislation passed, does not directly affect me unless it has the word “Immigration”, “Tax”, or “Kenya” on it. Even though I live there*. And you should do the same.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s good to stay informed and yes, Obama has made history. but for Christ’s sake, don’t obsess over it. You’ll wake up with your government (and theirs, ironically) still raping you silly, while you smile at their accomplishments.
Speaking of hidden surprises, watch how much hate Obama will garner from this. The country is about to suffer a painful blow before anything get better. And they know it. He knows they know. Which is why he should count his days carefully. And that’s about all there is to say on the matter.
But all this chit-chat going on all over the place….unnecessary. Spending all day talking about the intricacies of their health care bill, when they obviously don’t give a drop of warm piss about you or where your kids will get basic medical care seems…backwards? No?
Folks, there are only 3 countries that should be concerned with that bill are:
The rest of us need to calm down.
That is all.
*Normally I’m in the US. But I’m in Kenya now