The promiscuity double standard. We all are familiar with it. Just to break it down: men are allowed to have as many sexual partners, flings, one-night stands, mistresses, clandes, chips-funga’s as they want but if a woman does it, she’s a h… *gardening implement*.
Dont blame me, ladies. Blame society.
From an early age, women are taught how to walk, talk and behave like ladies from the way they’re supposed to sit, to the manner in which they dress, the way they eat and most importantly the way they carry themselves around men. Therefore any deviation from the standard of “being a lady” is automatically frowned upon by society. In fact, in the dating and relationship game, men are literally given carte blanche to insult, degrade, and dismiss ‘promiscuous’ ‘loose’ women. I’m not a feminist, but I dont think its right. I dont see why, in the case of a new couple for instance, the guy has more of a right to be pissed off and upset that his girlfriend has had more sexual partners than he has or more sexual encounters than he would expect her to have had.
However, the reality of today’s world is that both women and men are evolving. Men, on the one hand, are not the chivalrous, alpha-male types and are more open to embracing new lifestyles and other facets of their sexuality. Women, on the other hand, are assuming a greater control over their sexual and reproductive capacities and are exerting more pressure on men and their notions of masculinity than ever before.
My proof? Erykah Badu, ofcourse.
By anyone’s standards, Badu is successful. Grammy Award-winning singer, song-writer, producer, fashion trendsetter and the list goes on and on. However her noteworthy career is easily overlooked by those who instead judge her for having three children (Seven, Puma and Mars) from three different men (Andre 3000, The D.O.C and Jay Electronica). Immediately, one imagines Erykah as a loose woman, an unfit mother and a bad role-model as a musician. I’m sure she’s dealt with these stereotypes and criticisms throughout her career but the amazing thing for me is how she has managed to still produce stellar albums like “Worldwide Underground” and “New Amerykah Part One (4th World War)”. Through these albums, she speaks openly and thoughtfully about her love of life, men, music and her Afro-American culture and succeedes in drawing focus away from her personal life and on her versatile, ground-breaking eclectic sound and wisdom. As we speak, Erykah Badu is set to release her fifth studio album, ‘New Amerykah Part Two’ tomorrow.
As for the latest controversy surrounding her new video “Window Seat”, all I see is a woman, using her femininity and public influence to speak to us about being comfortable in our skin, the importance of individuality in expression and how society today is literally trying to kill our right to express our thoughts and opinions publicly. That’s what I saw when I watched it – but that wasn’t all I saw, though 😉
In conclusion, although it is clear that the promiscuity double standard is not likely to change anytime soon, I think we can all agree that the world could use more women like Badu.