Well – not me specifically. I mean generally.
I was walking past Tuskys the other day and I saw a little girl begging with her mother and baby sister. She must have been nine or ten years old, and even though she wasn’t very clean, I could see that she was very pretty. Her face had character, and there was a strength and intensity in her eyes. Total X-factor that one.
I don’t know if I’d recognise her if I met her again, but I couldn’t help thinking that in a few years time, some pimp would do her some serious damage.
I wondered what inspired that train of thought. After all, she’s just a pretty face, right? What is it exactly about a person that draws a below-the-belt reaction?
Sexiness is an attitude, no doubt, so the Plainest Jane and the Ugliest Tom can be sexy if they walk and talk right. Or if they show a lot of skin. Or have a lot of money. Sexy for me is brains, that’s why I go for nerds.
But what about everyone else? Essentially, sex drive should be determined by the tools – which pretty much everyone has. So I sometimes wonder what makes one mate more worthy than another at the physical level.
Indigenous men like booty. I’ve no clue why, since, really, the rear end has little to do with the act, except for gay men. Westerners seem to prefer legs and rib-cage padding. Again, I’ve no clue why. Both body parts are soft, paired, and spongy, so perhaps that gets the juices flowing, beats me. I’ve heard theories that hips imply child-bearing, while chests refer to child-feeding, so maybe it’s all about subconscious procreation.
Third-worlders enjoy hourglass coke-bottle figures. Perhaps the healthy curves imply food, and that may be the angle. Westerners generally prefer their women slim. Could it be some kind of anti-obesity hormone?
What about the guys who like legs? Could it mean they enjoy the chase, so they’re turned on by a girl that can run? And the lure of the petite is standard – when a girl is that small, even Napoleon feels big and strong.
The pretty face, I suppose, is a trophy, a possession that makes other men stare and thus raises a man’s status in life, but I can’t think how that involves sex. It’s all very confusing.
Girls are much, much simpler. We like a tall man with broad shoulders, because he’s towering and protective. And a washboard stomach just looks good. Talk about tempted to touch!
I think narrow hips imply smooth entry, you know, because they’re so narrow, but I wouldn’t know. I personally prefer a boy with a bum.
Beyond that, there’s the mistaken illusion that shoe size implies girth. I hear that whole long monkey short tail thing holds credence, though I could be wrong. And anyway, it’s all in what you do with it.
Still, I’m wondering how the way a person looks would affect their luck in the bedroom. I mean, don’t we all just need a broomstick and a … place to put the broomstick in?