I couldn’t have put it better myself, so I didn’t. And doesn’t the architect lady look so much hotter in this picture?
Disclaimer: Many, many spoiler alerts included…
Anyway, I first heard about Inception here, followed by a few more statements around twitter. I got curious, so I asked my favourite movie buff, Mr 3CB. He was impressed with it, and we agreed to find a good torrent. Of course while I was out torrent hunting, his boys decided Inception was going to be guys night out. *russumfussumboy’sboys*
He watched it on big screen and wouldn’t stop raving about it, so I figured I’d find a good torrent. Google led me to this page, and I was so excited that I did my little clapping dance. I’ve been known to do it at the ATM and on MSN, so you might be familiar with it. Anyway, the page.
While I was still clapping, Mr 3CB looks over my shoulder and says, ‘Don’t load anything that says CAM or TS in the file name.’ Yes Mr. Grinch. Now you know he watched in big screen and I wasn’t going to sit still now that I’m all hyped up about it, right? I waited till he was asleep, then I torrented it. It only took all night.
Then this morning, with a cup of black iced tea [*russumfussummilkallergies*], I watched Inception. The torrent was actually pretty good for a camera copy.
First thing I noticed was Leonardo Dicaprio. F**k. Not him again. I forgave him for Romeo and Juliet [beach version] and Titanic because he redeemed himself in The Aviator and Catch Me If You Can. But him scaling a wall in a suit was totally killing his brownie points.
Then I noticed that there were no credits. Ok. The run time was 2 hours 10 minutes. Shouldn’t it have been closer to 2.30? I figured my torrent skipped the first 20 minutes or something. Also, I started the movie at 9. I had a skype meeting at 11. So I kept looking at the clock as I watched. I will insist it was because I was worried about the meeting, but it could also be that I wanted the thing to end.
I remember hearing their arguments about how 5 minutes in the real world is an hour in dream time, and how three levels of dreaming quadrupled the time. My response to that was, ‘Have they been talking for ten minutes? It seemed a lot longer …’ But then again, I’ve never been much good at maths.
By the time the clock was at 45 minutes, I was thinking up excuses for Mr 3CB. He loved this movie, so it wouldn’t be enough to just say I hated it. I would need good solid reasons. I would also need to watch the movie again, because despite knowing the concept and the plot, I had no idea what was going on. Because there was way too much going on.
In my head, I kept hearing these questions. Why are the steps upside down? Who’s the dreamer and who’s the subject? If the subject is in the architect’s dream, then why is the subject’s subconscious attacking the architect? If they’re having shared dreams, how come just one person gets attacked? And is that woman’s name Mall?
When I couldn’t answer any of the questions, I decided that would be my perfect excuse – I’m too dumb to get this movie. Yay! I mean, it’s supposed to mess with my mind and make me question reality. It’s supposed to make me wonder if I’m awake, or if I’m dreaming. I’m supposed to ask myself how I got to where I’m sitting, just to be sure that I’m awake. I’m supposed to wonder if someone can get into my dreams and plant or steal ideas? And considering I sometimes dream in Manga, I should be susceptible to this kind of thing.
But the only question I was asking myself is, ‘If I say I’m blonde, will he think I’m patronising him? And just how comfy is my couch anyway?’
When the movie got to the 1.40 mark, Mr Charles showed up, and they fell onto a snowscape. Then I got reeeaally confused. The Arthur guy was swimming in corridors and killing people without gravity, which was cool, the hot Indian guy was driving really really badly, and everyone was doing some really twisted math-talk. The money guy was dying, everyone was shooting, and Leo was sniping people. I heard maybe the one deep line in the movie:
“You’re shooting projections from Fischer’s subconscious. Are you killing off parts of his mind?”
Ok, so now it gets to the part I like, because you take an abused kid, give him a paper spiral-fan-wind-toy- thingie, and convince him that his daddy is proud of him. Aaaaaaw. Never mind that this sweet gesture of human affection is really part of diabolical scheme to take over the world. Only Hollywood can take a good deed and make it evil. Sigh.
Of course it’s pretty cool that they all get out alive, except for Mall. If that was the crazy woman’s name. I was pretty happy seeing them chilling in first class. It made me do my happy clap. Michael Caine was an added bonus. LOVE him.
Also, I started to wonder how tough my subconscious is, and whether I have armoured tanks in there, considering I’m so paranoid. I’d like to think if some dude snuck in there, he’d find an army of Female Samurai Manga warriors with purple hair. And they’d probably be doing the snake mirror dance from Jaden’s karate kid.
Seriously though, I put a lot of emphasis on the power and meaning of dreams. Lots of times I’ve woken up crying because my loved one was hurt in my dreams, and have carried around the grief for days, even when I could see and touch them and know they were fine. I’ve been depressed for weeks after ‘betraying’ a friend in my sleep. So I’m surprised this movie didn’t affect me.
If you ask me what I think, I will say it was okay, or even ‘nice’. But psychological thrillers are not supposed to be ‘nice’. They’re supposed to be mind-blowing. So, conclusion. Well, I liked the last half hour. That has to count for something, right Mr 3CB?
♫ Brain stew ♫ Greenday ♫