Things are weird in old books. When describing indigenous names, they will say, ‘His name is Dancing Eagle’, or ‘Her name means beloved of God.’ I’m pretty sure Kobe’s grand-dad told him his names means tortoise, ‘He who is wise and cunning, always quick to think and slow to act.’ On that note, I earned a new nickname yesterday. I can’t find a cool word for it, but I will. Probably something like Abstainerita.
It all started at GNLD(editors note: These are some dudes bent on making your life better with herbal medicine and food supplements). I’ve been a member for a few months, though I don’t do it commercially. I just joined so I could buy my stuff at discount prices. I never attend meetings or recruitment drives, so I never know what’s going on.
Yesterday, I went to buy some Formula IV, and the cashier asked me to get the new pricelist. I asked him if it would cost anything, and he said I should just ask for one.
When I got to the product counter, I asked. The guy told me that the free price lists were finished, and that I would have to buy one at 20 bob. That’s fine, except GNLD doesn’t deal in cash. I would have to go to the bank, deposit 20 bob, come back with the deposit slip, and pick a new price list.
Yeah. That’ll happen. I *cough*cough* calmy explained that I can NOT walk into the bank and ask the guy to deposit 20 bob. It’s beyond ridiculous.
The guy wouldn’t let me just hand him 20 bob, because it’s against policy. He further explained that the 20 bob books were inventoried, that’s why they couldn’t just give them out.
My calm was history now, so I said I’d have to wait till my next order to buy the book. Trouble is every time I make an order, I have to calculate the cost, deposit the right amount into the GNLD bank account, then bring the slip and use it to collect my stuff. Can’t do that if I have the wrong prices.
Mr Product Counter got a little testy and said the new price list had been around for ages, and they’d given out loads of free lists, so I really should have one. I explained that I don’t attend meetings, [and don’t care to] so I have no clue. He said I should ask my sponsor, but he’s country out of the country. He then said I should call their offices once in a while to find out what’s new.
Er … yeah. ‘Hello? GNLD? Yeah, I was just calling to find out what’s new this week.’ Yeah, that’ll happen.
I didn’t want to argue anymore, so I said ‘fine’ and left. Attention all men. ‘Fine’ is not a good word unless it’s a direct response to, ‘How are you?’
I went down to the ATM on another errand. I was about to walk into the ATM room when I decided to make a ranting phone call. Two minutes into my call, a watchie comes to wave me away, but I saw him coming so I moved before he could raise the baton.
I finished my call and entered the ATM booth. I was at the front of the queue, and I was the only person on the queue, so yay! A few seconds later, this woman comes in and stands in front of me, but a little to the left. I glared at her back and wondered if it was worth confronting her. I was still thinking about it when the ATM became available and she started to walk towards it.
‘Excuse me, I was waiting for that.’
I didn’t even realise I’d said anything until I got the ATM and put in my card. My transaction was very slow, partly because my hands were shaking, partly because I wanted to annoy the woman, and partly because she was boring daggers in my back. I mean come on, I was just one girl on the line. It would have killed her to let me finish? She couldn’t wait two minutes?
When I finished and turned to leave, I noticed a large … bump … around the woman’s midriff. Oopsie!
I thought about explaining that I hadn’t noticed she was pregnant, but nah. Pride more than anything else. Besides, pregnant or not, it was only two minutes. She could have waited.
Was that a clap of thunder?
♫ Burn ♫ Three days grace ♫