Dear Mobile Network Companies….

Hi, I’m iCon: resident loudmouth here at Diasporadical. You’re probably more familiar of my colleague, 3CB, as she’s usually the one that addresses matters to do with stupidity as pertains to your companies. But not today. Today, I have found a bone that I would not only like to pick with you, but throw at you; possibly stab you with it too.

I feel like sometimes you guys forget which way is up. See, while you were busy playing strip poker with your tariffs – trying to call each others’ bluff – most of your users were complaining. Why? Well, I’ll list a few of the many reasons.


Safaricom: your service went from cluttered to diarrhea-esque. I’ve now gotten so accustomed to calling numbers twice (because the first time, the line is engaged) that I inadvertently hang up on people who pick up the first time. Add to that, your data service, which was never anything to sing home about, is even more pathetic. Your customer service has somehow miraculously gotten worse and your nervousness in dealing with Zain’s excellent checkmate made me forget I had a Safcom line to begin with. Get your house affairs in order, yo.

zain sucks too
And don’t you blush, Zain; you’re no better. For several days, people couldn’t get a hold of me on my phone without dialing a few times. Apparently, it was busy. Really? I get messages too late to respond and for a day or two, I actually couldn’t make any phone calls. A lot remains to be desired from your seemingly distraught customer service people and someone needs to clear up this Airtel thing up. Are we switching names again or what?

But you know what the worst thing is across the board, the absolute worst? I found out today that you guys don’t seem to care about your consumers.

I’ll expound. I went to buy a Zain line for a friend today – didn’t take more than a few seconds, kudos to the people at the Zain shop. But after getting the line, I whipped out my ID. The broad behind the desk gave me a puzzled look. I said “Don’t I have to register this?” She replied: “No, not really.” and waltzed off.

I’m sorry, what? Have you lost your minds? You guys and CCK kick all this dust up about SIM Card registration – to the point where I was scared I’d get kidnapped or something for not registering early – and then you just let new users go unaccounted for? Wouldn’t it save a whole lot of time and money to just do it while your dishing out the new lines? Or are you all so bent on getting new lines and new users that the thought of actually providing a service to said users seems alien?

Because frankly, that’s what it feels like right now. Everything is like some warped game of rates limbo – how low the prices can go and the network that dips lowest is the best. Yes, we’re happy about the 20 cent SMS Safcom, and we really like the freebies, Zain, but will someone start by addressing the holes that were sinking your ships to begin with? Honestly, right now, I’d switch to any network that could guarantee me service and customer care even if I had to shed that extra 50 bob a week. That’s money I spend on migraine medication everytime I have to hear a client chew my ear off because he wasn’t able to contact me as my ‘line was busy.’

What’s the point of cheap phone calls that never go through or free internet you’ll never have?

The point I’m making I guess is that you seem to have forgotten that you are supposed to be providing a service to a consumer, not outbidding a rival on a purchase.

Prioritize, gaddamit.

*drops microphone and walks away*

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2 thoughts on “Dear Mobile Network Companies….

  1. i can feel the bile all the way from here…good thing these guys read your blog 😉
    we are SURE the problems will be addressed…tihihi

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