The Year That Was: DR Highlights of 2011

Seasons’ Greetings!

In the year of our lord Two Nought Double One, the folks at DR invited you into our minds, hearts and thoughts and we are ever so grateful for all of you who read, commented, contributed, criticised and still spread the DR gospel far and wide!

So the aim of this post is to give you a quick run-down of a few memorable posts brought to you by the fantastic crew behind DR: davina, nittzsah, 3CB, iCon and yours truly.

Here goes:

J A N U A R Y :

“Do We Love Or Hate Raila Odinga?” by 3CB

“In the past few weeks, there’s been a lot of talk on Twitter about revolutions and people thinking someone should just set themselves on fire. I think many times, we do, except we do it with words. I just wish writers with authority would think carefully before they put theirs down.” – 3CB

“The Gospel of My Delusion” by Davina

A masterfully written post on feminism through the eyes of a twentysomething young female.

“That that is our curse—that for even the most frivolous, most unlikely reasons, women will decline to extend a helping hand. That for the longest time, we have believed men to be the extremely competitive ones, yet women are sixteen hundred times more competitive.” – Davina.

“Who’s Your Mother?” by Nittzsah

The day Nittzsah had “the talk” with her mother. A powerful, candidly written post. No quotes needed. Well worth reading.

“10 Even More Useless Cars” by iCon

A sequel to his earlier post entitled “10 Cars More Useless Than A Vitz”, mr iCon came back with yet another list of aesthetically annoying automobiles.

F E B R U A R Y :

February was an important month as the world watched a revolution take place in Egypt and murmurs that other countries would follow suit including Libya.

Here at home, there was an online call to nationalism dubbed KenyaFeb28.

Ofcourse, the crew weighed in on this issue:

“My Position On KenyaFeb28” by Nittzsah

“Is #KenyaFeb28 Missing the Point?” by yours truly.

M A R C H :

The first order of business in March was to celebrate DR’s One Year Birthday! Oh yeah.

We then got straight to business:

“The Politics of Kenyan Lawyers” by me.

A post on how lawyers with political ambitions must be faithful to the laws of the Republic they swore to uphold.

“The “Anti-Gayism In Kenya” Group” by iCon

A well-argued exposition of the anti-homosexuality debate throughout Africa.

“I’d like to see an ‘Anti-Corruption’ group with as much enthuse as this anti-gay group. Instead we’d all rather play God and judge folk for what they do with their wangs in the dark.
Oh, behave.”
– iCon.

“All The Lights” by Nittzsah

Nittzsah talks openly about living with epilepsy.

A P R I L :

The month Martha Karua officially declared her bid to be the fourth President of the Republic of Kenya.

“Why do you Women hate Martha Karua?” by yours truly.

A post about the second female to contest for Presidency in Kenya’s history.

“Increased Cost of Living – Cartels? Pirate Money? Or Not” by guest blogger, tripppleO

“While there may be some truth to some of the ‘explanations’ above it is important to remember that a lot goes into rising prices than pirate money or cartels.” – tripppleO.

“Mistresses, (Kenyan) Presidents and Birth Certificates” by yours truly.

A post discussing how the leader of free world, Barack Obama, was forced to produce his birth certificate for public scrutiny. Moral of the story: Politicians, we own you!

“Let’s Talk to Our Teens About Sexuality not Sex” by Nittzsah.

“My concern however is that perhaps we are not doing enough to talk about sex with teenagers. And I mean sex in all it’s forms and expressions no matter how bizarre or immoral we may think certain sexual acts are. We cannot hide our children from the world when they are in school to explore it. Everywhere they look, there are sexual undertones and we cannot blame the media for this.” – Nittzsah.

“The Ugly Side of the First Lady Syndrome in Africa” by yours truly.

How would the Shakespearean Lady Macbeth compare to the likes of Simone Gbagbo, Grace Mugabe, Chantal Biya, Janet Museveni and other African First Ladies?

M A Y :

The month the US finally killed Obama Osama.

“The Cycles at Sheria House” by 3CB.

A government horror story told by a very patient tax-paying, law abiding citizen.

“Customer Care at its Worst: “When Safaricom Meets Nokia Care” by iCon.

With close to 50 comments, this was the most popular post of the month. Great story-telling, humourously written.

“The Sad Case of the Errant African Diplomat” by yours truly.

A contrast between African and Western Ambassadors based in Kenya.

“Lessons From The Failed Rapture” by nittzsah.

A post reflecting on Harold Camping’s prediction that the world would come to an end – which never materialised.

J U N E :

The month “our shuka” graced the runways of global fashion.

“Kiondos, Kikoys and Shukas: Intellectual Property Protection is Everyone’s Business” by yours truly.

A post intended to clear the air on the intellectual property myths surrounding some of Kenya’s well known symbols of culture.

“How Not to Not Pay Taxes” – Why Kenyan MPs May Have Brain Damage” by iCon.

“Kenyan Politics is painful and boring; the same idiots committing the same crimes against the same people – us – and always getting away with it.” – iCon

“We Must Accept the Blame for the Troubled Boy Child” by yours truly.

A post about what it means to be a boy child in today’s African setting. Is the boy child slowly being marginalised?

“So We Want Science, But Won’t Accept It?” by Davina.

“The rationale is that for science to enjoy its exalted position, it must, by necessity, maintain some of its mystery.” – Davina.

“How Middle Class Are You?” by Davina.

“That the truth of the matter is that the African Development Bank has failed us and is now simply trying to justify its existence. That we should really stop kidding ourselves because Africa’s middle class probably constitutes only about 1% of the entire population.” – Davina.

J U L Y :

The month the world’s newest country was born: The Republic of South Sudan!

“Customer Care is Not Enough: Do More, Say Less, Be Better” by iCon.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m still huge on Customer Care. Not because I want people to be nice to us; I just want everyone to do their jobs. My chronicles with Nokia and Safaricom stand as testament to this.” – iCon.

“Feed Kenya: Each of Us Can Do Something” by yours truly.

A call to support the #FeedKenya initiative.

“In Search of a Good Dictator” by Davina.

“What I am about to tell you, I would never tell anyone else. Yet I trust Diasporadicalists. You are the least judgemental people I know. I am confident that none of you will use what am about to tell you against me.” – Davina.

Marriage Law Debate: Are Kenyans Inherently Polygamous? by yours truly.

A post looking at whether our new marriage laws have legalised polygamy.

“Our Next President Had Better Be a Rainmaker” by yours truly.

“The country is crying out for leadership that can do more than just watch as we starve, struggle to make ends meet and get robbed of our hard-earned taxes.” – me.

A U G U S T :

The month Raphael Tuju, ama ‘Rapho’ mukipenda, launched his presidential bid with the infamous ‘sheng’ video.

“#Rapho4Prezzo: “Redefining Raphael Tuju’s Candidacy” by iCon.

An open letter to Mr. Tuju. A well-penned post that will go down the annals of DR history as a classic.

“Badvertising: “Spoof Ads by Diasporadical” Vol. 1” by iCon.

iCon combines his graphic design skills and rare brand of humour to poke fun at Kenya Power, Yu, KFC, Orange, Safaricom, and others.

“The Political and The Legal Merge: Kenya’s Coalition Attorney-General” by yours truly.

An optimistic post about Kenya’s new Attorney General, Prof. Githu Muigai. However, several months in, he’s failed to live up to my expectations.

“Who Am I Voting For in 2012?” by iCon.

“Now, there’s one thing you might have noticed I don’t complain about: politicians. Everybody complains about politicians. Everybody says they suck. Well, where do people think these politicians come from? They don’t fall out of the sky. They don’t pass through a membrane from another reality. They come from [our] parents and families, [our] homes, [our] schools, [our] churches, [our] businesses and [our] universities, and they are elected by [our] citizens. This is the best we can do folks. This is what we have to offer. It’s what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re going to get selfish, ignorant leaders. Term limits ain’t going to do any good; you’re just going to end up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant [people]. So, maybe, maybe, maybe, it’s not the politicians who suck. Maybe something else sucks around here… like, the public. Yeah, the public sucks. There’s a nice campaign slogan for somebody: ‘The Public Sucks. Fuck Hope.’”
– George Carlin. (as quoted by iCon)

S E P T E M B E R :

The month when teachers went on strike and Kenyan lives were lost during the Sinai tragedy.
September was also the month the nation and the world mourned the loss of Prof. Wangari Maathai.

“Dear Teachers, Go Back To School” by iCon.

“I’m going to take a shot in the dark and bet 50 stones that the government will promise pay hikes and hiring of new teachers and we’ll be right back at it again next year. In the meantime, all you will have done is set yet another generation of students up for failure; repeating a cycle that peaks at a teacher holding a placard that’s misspelled.” – iCon.

“Dear Traffic Police, We’re Too Stupid To Drive Without You” by Nittzsah.

“Mr. Officer Sir, you can’t leave us especially not at the roundabouts. Coz there, right there, is where our madness, smartness and stupidity come together.” – Nittzsah.

“The Audacity of Hope: Karua, Tuju and Post-2012 Kenya” by yours truly.

A post on the “Obama Factor” in the politics of Kenya’s 2012 presidential race.

“What Would Ruto Do?” by 3CB

“In an ideal world, everybody would be honest. Lost money would be returned to its owner, lawyers would protect the innocent, cops wouldn’t ask for bribes, and nobody would be killed because of their race, height, or mother-tongue. But we don’t live in an ideal world, and I don’t see what good can come of guilting myself to death. So while I don’t have any answers myself, I leave you with this: What would Ruto do? And.., what would you do?” – 3CB.

“What Did You Expect From The #VPMeetUp?” by Nittzsah.

“Perhaps it’s time to adopt a new strategy like Ignore, Don’t Show Up or Walk Away, especially if the mangoes we demand are not forthcoming.” – Nittzsah.

“Remembering Wangai Maathai: Putting Public Interest First in Constitutional Kenya” by yours truly.

“The then MP for Tetu the late Prof. Wangari Maathai told fellow members of parliament that she was ready to surrender her parliamentary seat and safeguard the Kenyan forests.” – me.

O C T O B E R :

The month Kenya invaded Somalia in the name of a war with Al-Shaabab.

“Kenya At War: ‘Have We Already Lost?'” by 3CB

“So argue all you want. Be an analyst. Be a pundit. Name names, call whoever you want to call. But for fuck’s sake, give a thought and a prayer to the soldiers involved. They’re not statistics. They’re human lives. Wives, daughters, husbands, fathers, sons. So take a moment to think before you tweet, and say a prayer or two for our boys. They need them.” – 3CB.

“Surprise, Surprise. The Media’s Compromised.” by iCon

“There are enough of you out there that we could make a change, a real one, and avail the real stories and the real facts being hidden by media houses today. If you read what I wrote carefully, you see that one journalist was not afraid, and was willing to investigate the ugly truth.” – iCon.

““Regional Balancing” and the Bastardization of Kenya’s Constitution” by yours truly.

“I am raising the alarm over what is emerging as a serious breach of our supreme law and a dangerous trend within government. Using the Constitution to justify ethnicity and tribalism violates the very sanctity of the Social Contract entered into between the Government and the Governed on the 27th of August 2010.” – me.

“#RIPMarkMuturi” by 3CB.

“I don’t know why this story has affected me so much. I suppose it’s because I feel like it happened while I watched.” – 3CB.

N O V E M B E R :

The month the government declared war on its own people: attempting to mutilate the Constitution and carrying out forced evictions in Syokimau.

“Sepp Blatter and Uhuru Kenyatta Walk into a Bar in Syokimau…” by yours truly.

My take on a few important news stories.

“Kenya Is The 143rd Richest Country” by iCon.

“The rich are getting richer by digging so deep into our pockets, they’re tickling our knee caps and pulling up our socks.” – iCon.

“Kill Bill: Constitutional Amendment Edition” by yours truly.

“This travesty of justice and brazen display of impunity must not be allowed to stand.” – me.

“Celebrity Charity: “50 Cent Wants To Feed 1 Billion African Children”” by iCon.

“Dear celebrities, hunger will never go away. You really want to do some good: teach them to fish now. Give them healthcare so they can live. Give them a chance.
Otherwise you’re just giving yourself a warm fuzzy feeling for fueling a raging fire. In which case, leave us the Hell alone.”
– iCon.

As a parting shot, please watch this trailer to Africa’s most bad ass movie ever: “2016”.

D E C E M B E R:

The month doctors went on strike, the “Wageuzi” animation made waves and Al-Bashir issued ultimatums to Kenya.

““WAGEUZI”, Raila & The New Kenyan Youth” by iCon.

So when I see something like what Andrew Kaggia has done with Wageuzi, I remember what was said to me. This may not be a new Kenya, but we are dealing with a new Kenyan Youth.” – iCon.

“The Law is Broken: The Doctors’ Strike Isnt The Only Thing that May Be Unconstitutional” by yours truly.

“However, constitutional rights are not absolute especially where there are competing rights such as the right of the general public to the delivery of essential services, which arguably would include health care services” – me.

“Foreign Policy Embarrassment: Kenya Negotiates With Terrorists, Sometimes” by yours truly.

“So, our yearning to reclaim Kenya from the leaders that bedevil it must go beyond vocalising desires to vote them out next year. We must start now. We must push for reforms through the judicial system and through popular protests so the world may know that the people of Kenya are not silent in consent of their government’s misdeeds and that the people of Kenya understand that their destiny is in their own hands.” – me.

“East Africa Rising: Tanzania at 50” by yours truly.

A post reflecting on post-independence East Africa, particularly Tanzania as contrasted with Kenya.


And so, there you have it, folks. On behalf of the entire crew, we wish you all a restful December break and a prosperous 2012. See you all on the other side!

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