Website of The Year:

I pity anyone who is designing a website for a politician.

Actually I pity anyone designing anything on the internet at all this year because the team behind Mike Sonko just put a wrap and a bow on anything web related for 2013.


Ladies and gentlemen, I am aware it is January, but I doubt it will get any better than this, this year. The award for website of the year goes to


3 words to describe this feat of technical mastery: So. Much. Swag.

I’d really like to talk about the amount of swag in Sonko’s outfit alone on that landing page, but I’ve learned not to talk about Sonko’s dress sense in public. People assume I’m biased when really, I don’t care about politicians I just find the man’s character comedic.*

Let’s talk about what really matters. That electrocuted skyline: definitely a must. How else will you know he tends to kick Kenya Powerless’ ass till they pump the city with so much electricity it looks like an X-Ray? This is the only visual representation that works.

That giant Sonko stomping through the city: even more necessary. He’s watching over us people. Protecting us from other giant people like…iunno, Godzilla? It’s not a statement of overcompensation by someone who’s not really that tall. Nah, this is to let the people know that “While your city is being electrocuted, I will be here; swagged the f**k out, so you can enjoy all of the light, watunguyaz.”

“Enter site”? CLICK THAT SH*T!

Now, most politicians put silly nonsense on their websites. An agenda. Maybe a party manifesto. A personal statement perhaps. Nah, nah. That’s what most people do. Mike Sonko is not most people. Mike Sonko is a man of the people. A man of action.

So this is what he gives you.


BOOOM! It’s a picture CV and an MPESA number. And you know what else is so awesome about this? You send money, he calls you back to tell you how much he loves you. Or to tell you thank you. SAME THING!

I want to send like 10 bob to that number just so I can have a conversation with the main man Sonko and tell that man:

“That is so much swag, I want to kill myself for not having that much swag.”

Because for realz, a lot of politicians have records. Some vote for bills to reduce taxes for the people. Some pioneer programs to initiate street lighting programs. But who looks out for the men who want to dress hair?
1354811399-sponsored many for beauty courses

Sonko does!

Who looks out for the ladies who want to give people massages?


Sonko does!
Who wants to hold guns incorrectly just to show people he’s a solider?


Sonko does!

1354811582-promotes peace with his all


That’s how real the man is.

And his website captures every bit of that

Pewa medal.

*Seriously, before any of you Sonko fans/haters come here criticizing this piece, it’s all for humor. If the man has done good for you, fantastic. If you think he’s a retard, brilliant. Just keep that sentiment to yourself.

15 thoughts on “Website of The Year:

  1. Dear God,

    I pray that you will find it in you to forgive us, the electorate, for failing this country. May the next 5 or 10 years not be as painful as we have already set them out to be. Though we have messed up big time, may we bear it with a sober mind, and may we not be in denial of the mistakes we keep making. We are sorry 😦


  2. Wow…so this guy is going to become the Senator of Nairobi…and then governor ni…..siwesmake. Woi Nittzsah i think we are alone on this one…voter apathy bla bla.

  3. You can’t call that website of the year, it is morally wrong. He’d have spent much less and reached many more if he posted the pics on Facebook, because all that is a picture gallery.

    I can’t hate on Sonko.

  4. i would lyk to thank ts our man. honour to him for the sacrifices he has for us kenyans. kindly let him extend his services to the larger area in kisii.
    i want also to get his rescue job to see kisii people in peace and in rescue as well.
    SONKO MAN, Kisii twakungoja eh! we want to mek u knwn there for the future’s sake. karibu kwetu honourable rescure.
    sam kisii 0706004133

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s