#RaphLove: The Definition of Trespass

Credit: #KOT

I’m sure by now, you’ve all heard the nasty stories about this blog’s good friend Rapho aka Tuju aka Raph Lover.

The short version of it is that Ogunda(this guy who got booted from the police for somehow money laundering) found his way into Raph Lover’s house wife which led to Raph filing for divorce. Around the same time, Ogunda also started filing for divorce from his wife as well. Anyway, after a few more back and forths in court for Raph Lover and Ogunda, Ogunda was found dead one morning in Raph Lover’s house.

When asked what he thought of the situation, Raph responded by saying:

“There was an existing court order that barred him (Mr Ogunda) from going to any of my premises and it’s unfortunate his death occurred at my premises.”

That’s just gangsta. The guy that was ploughing your wife just died in your house in an obvious murder and your reaction is the legalese version of “Well, that negro shouldna been there in the first place, let alone die there.”

Anyway, out of curiosity, I looked up trespassing laws in Kenya just to make sure this post sounded smart I understood where Raph Lover was coming from.

Chapter 294. The Trespass Act.
adjusting glasses

“Any person who without reasonable excuse enters, is or remains upon, or erects any structure on, or cultivates or tills, or grazes stock or permits stock to be on, private land without the consent of the occupier there of shall be guilty of an offence.”

OK, I know those among you that appreciate a good sex pun are probably giggling. Because surely, it is public knowledge that Ogunda, without reasonable excuse, entered Rapho’s wife home. Evidence indicates that he also remained in there, possibly erected something…seems to have ploughed it, and may even have grazed on it. It’s definitely clear that he didn’t get the go ahead from the current occupier; so this is trespassing by the strictest legal definition.


Everybody is treating this like a murder mystery. “Who killed Tuju’s Wife’s Lover?” When in reality we all know who did it? *wink wink* …or maybe we don’t. I don’t know. All I know is Raph Lover won’t get caught for the murder. Raph is too smooth. He may not be able to win elections but that brother can win hearts and he can win court cases.


So as cold blooded as it sounded, Raph Lover was absolutely in his right to react as he did. And I don’t mean the murder per se. We know he didn’t do it himself cause he was in South Africa. What I mean is that he was legally justified to be like “Homeboy shoulda stayed in Homa Bay.”

Which got me thinking, in love triangles like this, who is to blame for this being taken too far?

I asked this question to someone the other day and they said “The wife, obviously. And not Tuju’s, Ogunda’s.” I’m not sure I agree with that because clearly she stuck by him even after he cheated.

Some say it’s the other wife who needs to check herself for ordering take out when she had a home cooked meal. Again, I kinda disagree. 26 years is a long ass time to be married. If you and your significant other last that long without either of you scooping another ass, then….I don’t even know. Is that possible?

nope nope

Personally, I’m of the opinion that our good friend Raph Lover might have been on the wrong. He was slacking on his macking and maybe even slipping on his pimping. If it was just that Ogunda came over and did his dishes one night, I’d say, OK, fine. But that guy was in that bedroom tidying things up everyday like a maid. How comfortable does a guy have to be in your house that even after being arrested, he still comes back to live there?

So that every several months, you walk into the house after another failed attempt at politics and find dude in the kitchen just looking back at you like:

robin thicke
“You want some juice?”

Hell no, I don’t want some juice. Put my juice back in my fridge and take your junk out of my wife and then take your ass out of my house. Take my treacherous wife with you too. Seriously, man. I wouldn’t even be cordial about that nonsense.

kanye laugh

Look, if you’re the other man, it’s more than likely your fault if things go sideways. People will blame you because in a situation like this, it just looks stupid. You shafted the man’s wife in his house…again? All that Raph needs to keep saying on camera is “Why was that guy there?” and people will exonerate him.

Can you imagine that though? Every few weeks, you walk into your house and it smells like cheap liquor and condoms. You find GSU boots by your swimming pool and your wife’s bra on a ceiling fan. You want to flip out, but you don’t. You call the cops, file for trespass, look at your wife, call the lawyer, ask how that divorce process is going. And then go to bed mad. And then 3 weeks later, repeat scenario. Again. And again….

Man, if that were me, I might lose my cool, fly to South Africa, hire an assassin and pay police to shut their damn mouths.

night to die

Raph Lover didn’t do that though. Raph Lover is a law abiding gentleman. Raph Lover kept his cool and did the right thing and the cops will follow the process as diligently as they always do. And Raph Lover will cooperate.

But if Raph Lover did do it…which he didn’t, because it’s wrong…but if he did…I’d understand.

5 thoughts on “#RaphLove: The Definition of Trespass

  1. So my mind got stuck at “… erects … cultivates … tills … grazes …” Clearly it lives in the gutter 🙂 I stopped reading, came down to comment, then went back up to the read next paragraph and *died*. Okay now to go to finish up.

  2. Dear Icon,
    I have taken it upon myself to tell you (yes tell) to correct your inaccurate association of Prophet Mboro and Zimbabwe. As a country, Zim is famous for many things but not prophet Mboro, we cannot take credit for him. Its quite tragic that despite all the protest comments, you have refused to budge by making a retraction.
    Honestly, in the name of honesty and using media honestly, this guy is SOUTH AFRICAN based in SOUTH AFRICA- as much as I respect(ed?) your blog (I am unsure where I stand on this since you have displayed shaky ethics but you are still interesting). The fact that you insist on keeping blatant lies and misinformation because of your need to maintain comical value (ie to keep the Zim reference) is just plain appalling and makes you no better than any of the less than honest journalists you complain about. Granted your blog is about humour, it does not need to be made of obvious falsehoods and lies. #enoughSaid

  3. Pingback: 21 Struggles That All People Who Wear Glasses Will Understand - Agala.info

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