Baby-Making Cars and Padded Bras

First things first. I didn’t really get an answer to this question, and I’d still really like one, so if you don’t mind … thank you kindly. Onwards onwards.

A good proportion of the DR Crew works in advertising. Which means we routinely makes videos like this *pointing up*. Which means I should really enjoy videos like this … but for some reason, I find this video quite annoying. I expect the average human loves it though. In fact, I expect it will win quite a few awards, social and otherwise. In case you didn’t get it (which shows how old you are … or how old I am …) that video *pointing up* is meant to be a parody of this one *pointing down*. It’s a clip from a movie starring Patrick Swayze . Yep. Now you know.

Moving on swiftly. I had an interesting conversation today. He – my friend – said women are unfair. He said we shoot down perfectly good male candidates for the flimsiest of reasons. Like he has a high pitched voice, or a short stature, or is boring. Of course I defended myself. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a man to be taller than me. I’m only 5’6 after all, so really, any man that is shorter than me is … well … short. And what’s wrong with wanting my man’s voice to be deeper than mine? It’s not like I sing alto. Lastly, I’m a smart girl. I enjoy stimulating conversation. So no matter how pretty a boy is, I will need him to open his mouth at some point, and I’d like to not fall asleep when he does…

My friend then said if we – as women – can dismiss a man with a nice job, clean smell, expensive car and good upbringing on the basis of his height, tone of voice, or entertainment value, then we shouldn’t be upset that he objects to padded underwear.  *Rolling up sleeves* *Hunting for soap box*

First, note that this is a very good friend of mine, and that the discussion was both intelligent and friendly. No men were injured in the making of this blog post. Two, most girls wear pads for comfort, not size. They hold your clothes better and prevent the kind of accidents that happen in the cold and rain. Three – and I have to add this, because I will be accused of being defensive – I don’t use padding. Mine is what you call a semi-lined push-up, which makes them look higher than they are and hides my nipples during cold weather, so no size distortions here. And four, sadly, DR lacks a sarcasm font, so …

soapbox

The average man has an aversion to padded undergarments because he calls them false advertising. He says he fell in love with a C-cup and was traumatised when he finally ingizas the girl box and finds that she’s a lot … less. The argument is that she lied, so she can’t get mad at him for … you know … calling her out.

Here’s the thing though. He’s in that situation because he likes C-cups, yes? Which means if she wasn’t a C-cup, he wouldn’t be with her, right? And the fact that he’s upset proves that she needed to lie in order to get him, right? So he’s mad because she liked him enough to lie about the size of her breasts…?

The male perspective is understandable, no? If he likes big breasts, and you don’t have big breasts, then you have no business being with him, yes? Although … if women weren’t taught that men like big breasts, we wouldn’t feel the need to make them bigger, would we? Let’s ignore for a moment that the main purpose of breasts is feeding babies, not entertaining their daddies.

In fact, let’s go a step back, to the 1920s, where women had to wear corsets because having small breasts (and waists) was more fashionable at the time. *Hellooo Downton Abbey!* I wonder if the men back then complained once they got into the bedroom. ‘How dare you pretend to be flat chested when you’re bigger than the farmer’s wife?!?’

My body is not a democracy

Also, let me just throw this teensy weensy spanner in the works. In many parts of South America, the ideal shape is to have small breasts and a big bottom. Hence, the most popular form of plastic surgery down there is breast reduction …

And … and … and … no, I can’t type this without giggling. Yes, I realise how serious this is. In Mauritius, large women were once considered extremely beautiful, so teenage girls had to be fattened for marriage. Literally. Meanwhile in the west, women still eat cotton and throw up in attempts to stay thin.

Of course these are extreme scenarios, and really should NOT come up in a discussion about whether or not women should pad their bras and derrieres (and whether or not men should be upset about that.) The wider truth is ‘society’ dictates what is considered beautiful, and then women (and men) respond accordingly. Whether that thing is big breasts, flat noses, small feet, or long tails, we all fall in line. Case in point…

L0038404 Illustrations to denounce the crimes of the corset

If you ask me, if a man is only dating me (or trying to sleep with me) for the size of my breasts, then finding out they’re padded really is poetic justice. Still, I’m curious to see what the ladies and gents of the internet think about this (and incestuous Mercedes Benzes) so …

2 thoughts on “Baby-Making Cars and Padded Bras

  1. It’s taken me a while to get to commenting on this post, had it saved in my reader for weeks. First the ad: Loved it. It was funny, had me chuckling even. I’m wondering why it annoyed you because you didn’t say.
    Second on false advertising: Everyone wants to look the best they can, and in initial meeting we only present the best of ourselves. So I’ll say if it’s someone I’ve just met and I going to sleep with them, typical one night stand, I’d be disappointed if I found what you called false advertising. If it was someone I hoped for more, wouldn’t bother me because at that point I’m into her for more than just the physical(not to say it’s no longer a consideration).
    I find it quite unfair that we, both women and men, have to pretend that physical things aren’t what attract us, that’s it’s shallow to not be attracted to someone for how they look. We all have our types, physical, emotional, and mental, and choosing to ignore one part of that equation is what leads to really unhappy relationship. We would never call someone shallow for ignoring someone for their emotional or mental state but physical is some how wrong?
    Hope this wasn’t too long and I answered your question.

  2. You’re right, it’s not shallow to be attracted to someone based on how they look. The problem is judging them on how they look, and subsequently punishing/dumping them for it. If it was a one-night stand, then yenyewe, hapo kuna point, because that was all about looks. And no, it wasn’t too long 🙂

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