KIDNAPPING IN NAIROBI-IS IT JUSTIFIABLE?

not Runda...

Nothing beats a hang-over killing session at Ole Polo’s ( I know I said the same thing about Carni but am like a Kenyan MP-lets jus say I was misquoted). It’s my usual crew-all the boyz plus Pete’s funga from last night, the brother couldn’t get rid of her in the morning — am sure jamaz out there will have had the conversation before:

Boy: (getting outta bed) What’s YOUR plan for leo?

Girl: (looking a bit too comfortable in his bed)ah, nothing much, what do you have planned for us leo?

Boy: (planned for us????) … er er er er actually my granny’s sick in the hosi so am gonna go see her (hoping she falls for that) …

But Pete didn’t manage to shake her off so she’s part of the crew today (I wouldn’t be surprised if she ‘forgot’ one of her earrings at his crib…). As we down the booze and manga some nyam chom in the sun the topic shifts from the analysis of jana nite to the recent spate of kidnappings. It’s a no-brainer, it’s sick and unfair… and those kidnappers deserve the death penalty. But we’re all still hangover and now on the way to getting tipsy again so some of the boyz decide to offer an alternative view.

Before they can go far we point out the obvious…the mental anguish on the kidnapped person and their family (and friends), not to mention the risk of physical abuse on the kidnapped person must be unbearable. But they point out that the kidnappers probably have good reasons for resorting to kidnapping innocent Nairobians.

Good reasons????

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Looking For A Church Woman To Settle Down With?…Think TWICE.

Nothing beats a Soul Nite at Carni, especially a Super Soul Nite. This past one was even better since the boyz were celebrating Pete’s new promotion. He’s now on 300k a month, which is not bad for a dude under 30 in Nai. He tells us that he now wants to settle down and start a family (he’s moving up in da office, his business ventures are looking up and his crib is now fully stacked up). This is a big moment since we’ve all been hitting the scene hard since around ’99 and Pete’s been the biggest P.I.M.P in the crew. He then adds that he’s gonna start looking for a mama from church (how many times have we heard dude’s in da club make this statement?) as we all nod in agreement as we scope some of the talent on show.

I leave the convo and start chatting up some ‘yellow-yellow’ at the bar. She’s got all the right (physical) features but she’s drinking Sprite, off the bottle (this is Carni, at 1 a.m…). The convo is a bit icy…she’s a 3rd year BCom student at N**** University and she’s telling me how busy she’d been all day in church-she’s a church (youth) leader at that funky, happening church in South C… Clearly this is not funga material so before I bounce I try a longshot and ask her if she wants to dance. She says no, she’s too tired. That’s usually my signal to leave but before I head off I point out that her Sprite is almost over and offer to buy her another ‘round’ (surely, how much can a sprite cost?-even in Carni, plus it’s jus after end month so I can still make it rain). She say’s yes and orders a triple Vodka and Red Bull??? (Typical Nai chips chicks behaviour) I give the bartender like a K 2 soc and continue the convo with the mama but she spends most of it guzzling that proportion of my salo (I’ve never seen a triple vodo n red b downed so fast…). As soon as she’s done with the drink she’s eager to dance (clearly Red Bull gives you wings) I still wish she had told me before hand that a dance costs like a K, sometimes I wish that I had the balls to deal with professional langaz-at least they’re more direct i.e:pay this much if you want a dance, a ** will cost u an extra …. On the dancefloor she pulls some Crazy ASS moves that were a Blessing to me. After that we took the stroll to Kichaka and got to know each other better. Now that’s what I call money well spent, 1,200/=…that’s even cheaper than K Street, I think. I quickly say goodbye n rejoin the boyz…

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Motion to ban the Wedding Show…


All in favour of the motion say Ayeeeeeeeeee

The scene is Black D’s, around the table are 2 of my boyz-we’re all sipping on ice cold Tuskers enjoying the late afternoon Westie breeze Black D’s is cool until around 9 when the sl*ts come in to look for old jungu men. We all have our excuses and alibis for our girlfriends so they won’t be bothering us tonight. In the middle of our conversation we are interrupted by the arrival of my boyz’ dates. Both are campus chicks. One was drop dead hot, she was like Halle Berry but with a**. The other one was er … well, let’s just say she had a nice personality. My date is running late and am regretting telling my gf to stay home but before I could even think of calling her my date arrives, she’s my Best Friend-we’ve been best friends for like a year now she’s hot, best friends are always hot. It’s now a full house and the conversation moves from work to the constitutional review then the health care bill (now Act) before my boy Tony brings up marriage.

Insanity follows. The girls happily start narrating their dream weddings. The usual stuff “…me I want…then I want…then I want…” My boyz n I have heard it all before so our minds block out all the chatter as we get reacquainted with our beers and start guzzling them, plus happy hour is almost over so we need to order more pints quickly (keep in mind that these are proper Nai chips chicks so we all know they aint payin for sh*t all night: up to and including cab fare, kenchick or even those Westie mayayis). As the waiter brings the half-crate our attention returns to the ladies, Nice Personality swears that she can’t arrive at her wedding in a Benz on her wedding day. She goes: “I want a chariot, with six white horses just like the ones I saw on wedding show.”

“What the f!! Girl is you crazy”—(shucks, I said that out loud). But even that doesn’t stop her. She goes on to describe how she wanted a beach wedding or at the very least Windsor Hotel.

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“I share a bed with my best friend…it’s cool – it’s platonic”

Is it cool for a girl with a boyfriend to have another guy as a best friend?’ I’ve been hearing this debate for a while so it’s time to speak on it but from a guy’s point of view.

In a nutshell the situation normally involves a girl with her loving boyfriend (hereinafter referred to as ‘bf 1’) then there is a separate special relationship she has with her best friend (hereinafter referred to as ‘bf 2’). Nothing wrong with that, we all have best pals-they are our confidants, our voice of reason when we’re contemplating rash actions, our drinking partners, those we run when we’re having problems with our other friends and just any problems in general…

But, is there a problem when bf2 is another guy?
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