#RaphLove: The Definition of Trespass

Credit: #KOT

I’m sure by now, you’ve all heard the nasty stories about this blog’s good friend Rapho aka Tuju aka Raph Lover.

The short version of it is that Ogunda(this guy who got booted from the police for somehow money laundering) found his way into Raph Lover’s house wife which led to Raph filing for divorce. Around the same time, Ogunda also started filing for divorce from his wife as well. Anyway, after a few more back and forths in court for Raph Lover and Ogunda, Ogunda was found dead one morning in Raph Lover’s house.

When asked what he thought of the situation, Raph responded by saying:

“There was an existing court order that barred him (Mr Ogunda) from going to any of my premises and it’s unfortunate his death occurred at my premises.”

That’s just gangsta. The guy that was ploughing your wife just died in your house in an obvious murder and your reaction is the legalese version of “Well, that negro shouldna been there in the first place, let alone die there.” Continue reading

When Kenyans Discovered Sex

Godfather Urinal

I was at a urinal the other relieving my bladder of their day’s duty when I noticed that the guy 2 pots down from me was yapping on his cellphone.

Now, I know it goes against bathroom etiquette to do so much as pay attention to any other guy – especially at a urinal – but it’s the combination of who it was and what it said that caught my ear.

For fear of lawsuit, I’ll just say that it’s someone relatively famous, substantially older, that you see on TV quite a bit. He is definitely married and I think I schooled with one of his kids almost a decade ago. Yes, that old.

What did he say? Well, he said “So what time do you get out of school?”

This would not have been alarming were it not for what immediately followed.

“..and what time did you tell your parents you’re going home?…Good, then we have [enough] time.” Continue reading