Mistresses, (Kenyan) Presidents and Birth Certificates

In politics, the higher you rise, the more every little thing that is said or rumoured about you, becomes an national issue. Bearing in mind that as a political figure, your life is no longer your own and that every single personal detail is no longer personal or private and becomes a matter of national interest. Therefore whenever an issue arises, it is your duty not only to respond but more so to officially set the record straight which in certain circumstances may require furnishing proof. This leads us to the green document pictured above: Barack Obama’s Certificate of Live Birth.

He’s not Kenyan. He’s not an alien. Case closed.

In fact I’m surprised he waited this long to produce a document that’s been in his possession all this time. Then again, he probably thought that Americans, especially conservative Republicans like Trump would rise above petty politics and focus on the grave challenges facing the US. I guess he was wrong. Ofcourse he was wrong! 2012 is election year in the US so the mud-slinging and vigorous campaigning has only just begun.

There was something amusing about seeing a visibly frustrated but restrained Obama hold a press conference to announce the release of his original birth certificate, to prove that he is eligible to hold his office even as he eyes re-election a year or so from now. But in all fairness, he did what any other president would have done in his position. If anything, Obama’s press conference yesterday is reminiscent of another infamous press conference by his (Kenyan) counterpart, Mwai Kibaki.

Some years back, President Kibaki appeared on National tv to proclaim that he only had one wife: Lucy Kibaki in order to quell growing talk that he had another “wife” and another “family” elsewhere. This is what presidents have to do when the public exercise their all-encompassing “right to know” and presidents have no choice but to address all issues deemed “matters of national interest”. Kibaki had to formally distance himself from his other “wife” and “family” so as to convince the country that he was firmly committed to his Christian values and that he does not endorse polygamy.

While we’re on the subject, I hope Martha Karua is taking note of what it would means for her if she were to be elected President. No subject is off-limits, no matter is too private, no issue is too personal and once we elect you, we are entitled to full access to all information pertaining to your life, your family and your household. Yes, we “own” you.

Daily Dozen 09/12

#fail

Dear Obama, you’re too good for American politics. It’s not so much racism as it is anti-intellectualism [HuffPost]
“Wheels Slowly Coming off The Hague Express” [Kumekucha]
China: Richer, stronger, and now officially smarter than the rest of the world [TIME]
Political impasse or constitutional crisis: Law Society of Kenya’s Options [KenyanJurist]
Wikileaks reveals interesting stuff on Kenyan-Somali relations [KenOpalo]
Woman supposedly ‘raped’ by Assange has CIA ties. Kinky [RawStory]
“An End to Slums” [AfricaOnTheBlog]
“Emancipate Yourself From Mental Slavery” [Wamathai]
“By The Powers vested In Me” [ActurialOutlook]
“TPF4 Trivialities” [Sylkwan]
Even in crime-plagued South Africa, this stood out as a tragedy [BBC]
“Taveta Weddings” [Sheeremix]

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Daily Dozen: 07/12

Imagine your job was to phone people to tell them they won the lottery [EAS]
Hey Côte d’Ivoire, look at Guinea! [BBC]
Can OCampo Be Stopped? [KenyanJurist]
Calestous Juma: From Village Boy to Harvard Don [HKS]
Michelle Obama Teaches Americans About Black Women [NewsWeek]
Move Over Barack Obama, China’s President is the Most Powerful Man in the World [Economist]
This WikiLeaks Julian Assange guy is literally a James Bond Villain [DailyMail]
2011 (Next) Year In Review [NYT]
2010 Kenya Bank Rankings [Bankelele]
Kenyans Want Raila to Apologise Over Gay-Bashing Remarks…and I want a Ducatti 1100 for Xmas [DN]
New ‘Sweet’ Service for Kenyans in the Diaspora [TechMtaa]
Your favourite campus blogger went to Coast [SavvyKenya]
A Regular Dose of the Funnies [DBPB]

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5 Other Parties That Omar Al-Bashir Should Crash

It seems the politicians have taken taken the “No Snitchin'” policy a tad too far on this Al-Bashir matter. “DENY TILL YOU DIE!” seems to be the order of the day. They didn’t see nothing, they don’t know nothing, they didn’t do nothing. Even though they know his phone number and hang out with him during the internationally televised Promulgation ceremonies. Their excuse? They didn’t even know he was there. Riiiiiiight.

So while they are pleading the fifth, we’ve come up with a list of 5 other parties Omar Al-Bashir should crash while he’s on his silent world tour. Continue reading

Promulgation Day: We Were There.

Where were you on the 27th of August 2010 circa 10:25pm?

Most of my fellow middle-class Kenyans decided to watch history being made in the comfort of their living-rooms at home. That was their choice.
But I, as an able-bodied, sound-minded, patriotic Nairobian had to see it with my own eyes. I tried reaching out to friends and colleagues to tag along but they all cowered. Some planned to spend the eve of Promulgation Day in and out of clubs in Westlands (Bend-over Thursdays, I believe it’s called), while most of you thought that going to Uhuru Park for this historic and unprecedented event was either the funniest or the craziest thing you’ve ever heard.

Continue reading

5 Reasons ‘The Boondocks’ is Still The Truth

A few quick disclaimers. If you’re not familiar with the Boondocks, this is probably not where you want to start. If you cannot tolerate profanity, you probably should mosey on along. And if for whatever reason you have a problem with afrocentric anime, brash opinions or cartoons for adults(not that kind) then there is another post scheduled to drop in 30 minutes or so that you could probably spend your time on. That said…. Continue reading