Cellphone Registration and Con Week

I just received the most interesting phone call from 0750234968. A guy speaking in very grammatical Swahili explained that I had won Ksh 70,000. He had a very detailed story about a Promulgation draw. Apparently the winning ticket was Number 6.

I figured it was a con, so I was only half-listening and responding with mm-hm and appropriate intervals. Apparently, my sarcasm didn’t carry over the phone. This dear boy has picked the wrong girl on the wrong phone on the wrong day. Continue reading

“Are You Saved?”

I couldn’t quite hear what she was saying from my office so I walked out and closer to her cubicle to get a cleaner ear on it.

“I’m sorry what?” I replied.
“I said: Are you saved?” She repeated.

"God?"

Let me explain why I have a problem with that question. In case you’re just tuning in – which you are – my coworker, had decided that it was now relevant – no, imperative – to explore the depth of my religious proclivities and dedications. There are several things obscenely wrong with this, in my unhumble opinion. Continue reading