In Response to BBA’s Alex

So Alex wrote a letter on his Facebook wall justifying his decision to nominate El Presidente for eviction from the Big Brother house. I don’t know how much trouble Alex is having walking the streets of Nairobi seeing that we didn’t even care…, thaaat much. I know I didn’t. I don’t even know his 2nd name. But his letter more so the effort put into writing it, just put a bad taste in my mouth.  And seeing that it was addressed to the country (that should include the people of West Pokot) then it’s only fair I reply. Coz no one likes to send a message and not get a response.

Dear Alex

Thank you for your letter. At least, it proves you actually give a rat’s ass what the world thinks of you. While you attempt to locate the middle finger on your hands,  let me applaud you on your effort in being a patriotic Kenyan.

Indeed our flag is a beautiful and unique thing. For you to have it on your fireplace, in your bedroom and on all your cars, must mean you eat, sleep and dream thinking of nothing but this country. I’m sure you forgot to tell us about all the Kenya t-shirts and scarfs you have. But don’t worry, we figured that out.

By the way, having the flag in your bedroom.., very kinky. If you never get laid with that flag there, that chic is simply unpatriotic, a traitor and certainly not a nationalist. Thank you also for reminding us that having a flag on our cars is not a privilege reserved for our president and minsters. I hope that every patriotic citizen of this country who owns a car will eventually put a flag on it.

Then there’s that little issue about not knowing the words of our national anthem. Man, I bet that was hard. It’s like going to heaven and realizing that you don’t know the words to the Lord’s Prayer. And God would be looking at you, tapping his foot, stroking his beard and thinking.., should I evict this guy?

So the question keeps arising why you  nominated your countryman for eviction. Actually Alex, the question arises among the people you call “friends” on Facebook. We who did not know you and may never meet you, forgot all about it when your kinsman survived eviction and YOU came back home.

You claim that your fellow Kenyan violated your personal interests and freedom of association. Biggie should really have a human right’s body on location to look into such grave accusations.

In defending your actions, you also claim that “the right of an individual legally executed comes before patriotism, because whoever violates your rights is unpatriotic in the first place.” To this I ask, does revenge include your definition of patriotism?

But of course you would say that you have “legally executed freedom” (whatever that means), protected by the new constitution, which like the Kenyan flag, you love very much. You’ve got so much love bwoy. Love for everything.., maybe just not everyone.., at everytime.

So your countryman came across as selfish, hiding luxury items from other housemates including you. While you make a shoddy attempt at displaying your legal prowess, you may need a lesson in the economics of needs and wants. Luxuries tend to fall in the latter and lacking them does not cause death.

Sure Alex we respect you, as you respect us. We do not expect you to act on every one of our wishes. If you do, you will be unhappy and the last thing we need is another depressed, suicidal Kenyan. We also support your appeal for “peace to prevail”. For real dude. We cannot have another spate of post-poll violence. Never again.

Besides, BBA is only a game.You had the right to play the game as you wished. It’s you who got into the house. Not us. While there, you had the right to offend others and defend yourself as you pleased. Writing illogical statements later defending your actions is rather lame.

So people think you’re an asshole, others think you’re a failed strategist. Who cares? You may not make the best brand ambassador, but you got your shot. That’s all that matters. You were in a game. If only you looked at it that way from the very beginning, you’d move on with your life now. If not for yourself, for the love of your country.

Me.., I just hope you find your middle-finger dude.