Why My Daughters Will Never Go To Boarding School

Today, I decided to walk to town because it’s healthier (i.e. no money for petrol) and somehow ended up having a conversation with statutory rapists after being hit on by a school girl.

I will not be naughty schoolgirl

OK, so this is what happened. I was walking through one of those areas with a lot of boarding schools in it when I noticed a taxi that was essentially parked in the middle of the road. As I walked towards it – because there was really no place else to go -, an elderly gentleman hopped out and raised his hand as he marched in my direction.

Now, I have no qualms with kicking old ass – quite the contrary in fact, I just need to be provoked. In my mind, an old guy running towards me with a raised arm is just enough cause to draw out the fisticuffs. But alas, he came in peace speaking in the most proper English, correct register and British accent to match.

“Young man, could you kindly direct me to {beep} School. My daughter is unwell and I’ve come to take her home.”
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