That Ain’t Yo Man, Woman!

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Every few months I come across this exact scenario.

A gorgeous, brilliant, awe-inspiring, jaw-dropping woman will walk her weepy self into a group of “close friends” and share her woes. It’s always something to do with this man she perceives as perfect. Being the skeptic I am, it usually takes me all of 23 seconds to immediately realize this guy is scum. Anyhow, she goes on dreaming about said perfect person until she gets to this line:

“…but he’s in a relationship.”

And then the weeping continues. Continue reading

A New World Order

Occasionally, you meet that one guy that makes everything go boom, blast. Five minutes after the customary round of banal introductions, you find yourself living through a bona fide ‘paging my soulmate’ moment. An hour later, you are smitten and inspired in equal measure.

‘Corr,’ you say, ‘so this is how people end up getting married?’

Yeses, that’s how.

Two hours later and you’re poised to take a bullet for the guy. Because everything fits. Because he’s Mr. Right. Because you share the same sense of lavatorial humour. Because you both need a twelve-step programme for your respective twelve-step programmes. Because you’d both gladly plead no contest to all charges of crimes against zoomanity.

To top it off, the guy makes it very clear that the feeling is neutral mutual, and that you have one of those rare, inescapable connections. Augh, if only he’d met you before he met his wifey. Continue reading

The Reasons Why He Left You

(c) IMustBeDead on DeviantART

Kellie once called me a “relationship blogger“. Behind closed doors, I vehemently denied this because I strongly believe that I can not and will never understand women enough to understand relationships. I’m still trying to figure out men – and I’m one of them so that should tell you something.

So it was that about a week ago, I was speaking to my close consigliere as she pondered a question I had heard one too many times escape the lips of an innocent woman.

“Why did he leave me?”

Continue reading

Just Let Him Cheat…?

Fact 1:

Most men can separate sex from love.

Fact 2:

Most women can’t.

I recently watched Nicholas Cage’s Lord of War. I’d bumped into it before, but I didn’t pay attention until my Sailor recommended it. I’ll watch just about anything he tells me to – I trust his taste. After all, he’s with me *cheeky grin*

One of my favourite lines in the movie is when his wife asks him to stop doing what he does because they’ve made enough money.

Nick: It’s not about the money.

Trophy wife: Why then?

Nick: Because I’m good at it.

I can’t explain the brilliance of that line without a spoiler alert, so just watch it. Another cool thing about the movie is that Nick does despicable things, but you end up defending him. You feel it’s not his fault.

One of the things he does is cheat. Many, many, many times.

I don’t know why men – or women – choose to be unfaithful. I always thought it’s about greener grass, or maybe just grass. Continue reading

“I Can’t Be Your Man” And 7 Other Excuses Men Make

I was having a conversation with one of my Consiglieri yesterday about how people end up staying in bad relationships for silly reasons. The silliest of which has to be ignoring the very obvious signs being given to them by the other party.

To avoid being biased, I’ll only speak for the gender to which I belong; the males. Ladies, there are some things you need to know about what we sometimes say. And what it really means.

Breakup
1. “I’m no good for you.” – Children, when a person of the opposite sex tells you, up front, that they are bad for you, THEY ARE BAD FOR YOU. Don’t run, but don’t stand around and hope to change them. Continue reading