The Art of Confusing Men With Your Chest

Disclaimer: Today’s post contains a lot of links.

Trust me, you’ll want to click on all of them. For real.

I finally made my peace with the reed dancers, though it wasn’t easy. The main reason I forgave them is because they’re honest. With these ladies, it’s pure WYSIWYG. They’re all natural, all the time, and some of their lady bits are pretty nice. But today I bumped into this. It’s called the NuBra, and it’s what allows divas to wear dresses like these.

See, what happens is you stick these adhesive plastic thingies onto your chest area, and voilĂ , le bra. It has no back straps, front straps, or shoulder straps, so it’s pretty much not there. But it does prevent the ‘fun-buttons’ [Fareed’s words, not mine] from poking anyone’s eyes out, and it increases your bust by one cup size. I watched the instruction video, and that’s some pretty heated stuff. Especially the fitting part. I can hear some guys screaming, ‘PLEASE take me to school !!’ Continue reading

Tattoos in Kenya

My Fellow Countrymen,

It seems somebody snuck a needle and some ink across the border. Now all you under-35ers are getting moist and stiff in the loins for skin doodles. A few years ago, getting piercings was a big thing, now, all of a sudden, everybody and their mothers are getting flowers and Bible verses inked in their armpits. All this randomness in the name of being hip.

And it’s cute. This whole fad is freakin’ adorable.
I’m happy for you.
I really am.

So happy in fact, that I’d like to ask a small favour, if I may? Kindly allow me to share in your joy and laugh as loudly as my lungs allow – in your face – when you show me your new tattoo. Continue reading