The Following Religious Leaders DO NOT Represent My Stand On The Proposed Constitution

So “the church” is against the proposed constitution with religious leaders rallying masses to reject the same. While I am up to date with all “the church’s” campaigns (the good, bad and ugly), I am quite angered by a number of things:

1. I worship (not belong to or subscribe to) a certain “church,” by virtue of my relationship with God and will proudly vote YES in support of the proposed constitutions. Question is do I stop being a part of “the church” because “the church” is against the new document?
2. Who gave “the church” moral/religious/constitutional authority to represent my views regarding the draft?
3. Who gave “the church” the right to interpret the proposed constitutions for me?
4. Why should I care that that “the church” has read the said document?
5. When did “the church” decide to take up my decision making right (the very essence of my liberty) without my consent?
6. And lastly, who the fuck is “the church?” and who does he/she/ it/ think they are?

Daily Dozen: 12/04

Gravity. Always. Wins.

– 10 year Old Boy Who Climbed Kilimanjaro, Now Set to Climb Everest [AFP]
– Poland in Mourning [Times Online]
– Africa may have lost £1 Trillion in illegal flows of money, researchers say [Guardian]
– “New scramble for Africa” [AfroSpear]
– Pattni Land Deal Raises Questions [Daylight robbery]
– Quincy Zuma Timberlake Spills The Beans [DN]
–Travel Diary: Experiences, Trans-sexuals, Cultures, Language Barriers [Wanjiku]
– Living To The Fullest [Wyndago]
– Kellie Laid Bare [Kellie]
– Making money off African women’s genitalia [SavingAfrica]
– Diaspora Kenyans Keeping the Harambee Spirit Alive [ButDoISay]
– Faster Than A Speeding Rapist [A&C]

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Makmende & The New Frontier

Makmende won't be on CNN. CNN will be on Makmende.

They say a lot of truth is said in jest, and Makmende is proof of this fact. Long after the jokes about how the KRA pays him taxes and the fact that we drive on the left because he drives on the right and we were in his way, it is hard to deny that this man has hit phenom status. He is more than just a person, more than a meme, and by far superior to a mere local hero. Makmende is now a movement and a sign of the change of times.

What change, you ask?

The change we earlier alluded to. Except that last time, we were focusing on the negative aspect of this change. The shift towards socialitetis(for those with tribal hinderance, that’s pronounced “So-sho-lyt-it-is”). This is that social syndrome where people become famous for the sake of being famous. For example, Arunga will be more sought after for her notoreity than her ability. And in Makmende’s case, I know quite few people who STILL can’t remember the name of the group or the song behind his stardom. Yet I can’t think of a soul that doesn’t know him.

I also can’t think of a reason why he should be this famous.

True Blood – A Kenyan Pint

The Arunga/Hellon story just won’t go away courtesy of our bold, authoritative i-know-what-you-did-last-summer media and  of course, yours truly. So we keep talking about it, in the elevator, on the jav, and over coffee in Java. Yet, we still have questions : Why is she doing this? Does she have a mental disorder? How could she sue her parents? What is that cult church all about? As usual, I have no answers either. But I can draw parallels; learned how to in math class, somewhere along my formal education. But I digress.

What I’m I saying? I think I can identify with this whole real life drama by drawing similarities from the HBO Television drama, True Blood.

Just to break it down for you, in case you haven’t watched the series.

Esther Arunga Timberlake: The Beginning of The End

While most Kenyans are sitting at home watching the drama unfold screaming “cult”, “stupid girl” amongst other blurts, I’m trembling in fear of what this means for the future of our country.

For those of you who are not up to speed, here’s a quick summary. This news anchor, lawyer, TV personality lady was supposed to marry this guy. They both went to this church, run by this pastor, saxophonist, presidential candidate dude. So this dude also had this friend who liked that news lady. Supposedly, that had nothing to do with the pastor cancelling the lady’s wedding to this guy and instead hooking her up with this friend. Anyhow, at some point, they all got arrested, except for that guy, but he was already out of the picture.

As of yesterday, the lady and the friend are supposedly married. We fail to see how as the friend is still in jail and the lady and her pastor, saxophonist are not.

Oh, and one last thing. This lady is suing her parents for 300million.

The lady is Esther Arunga Timberlake, the guy is Wilson Malaba, the preacher, saxophonist, quasi-pimp is Joseph Hellon, and his friend is Quincy Zuma Wambiti Timberlake. They are all members of The Finger of God Ministries. But these details are irrelevant.

In fact, although although furiously entertaining, it’s all extremely irrelevant. The only thing worth noting about the matter is how great an impact this will have on Kenya.

While we sit and speculate, Esther Arunga is laying the foundation for a new breed of celebrity: the type of person who’s famous for being infamous.