Ladies and gentlemen, amidst the loud voices bellowing about Occupying Parliament and other serious matters, a not-so-silent fart of retardation clapped its way out of the US and into the Kenyan Twittersphere this fine day. Its name was Kola Boof: the Lion Cub Eating African Queen.
I’ve seen Boof on the Diasporadical Twitter Timeline before. She’s hard to miss for her outlandish statements and her…ehm…let’s say “she has cargo.” It’s not pretty cargo but…
It’s like the missing portion of the Rift Valley. But trust me, her allegations are even more ridiculously proportioned. Her claim to fame is that she’s a best-selling novelist or something, but really people know her for having screwed more famous names than the guy who drills the Hollywood stars in place. Or at least claiming to. She’s purportedly boinked Thabo Mbeki, Jacob Zuma, Russell Simmons and…whoever else pops up when you google her.
But today, she won the Darwin Award for having somehow evaded being extinguished by Mother Nature through evolution – an insult convoluted enough that I’m sure she won’t get.
In the morning, in between being very racist towards Asia as a whole and tooting her proud African horn, as she frequently does, she decided that eating lion meat was something that we as Africans do. Further, that we should be proud of it. Continue reading