The New Kenya: “Children of The Fifth Monkey”

Sometimes enlightenment beams through the oddest crevices.

I was reading a book by David Thorne, a renowned internet troll, where he sarcastically called one of his coworkers something to the effect of “Harlow’s fifth monkey” for blatantly following rules without questioning them.

For those not familiar with Harlow’s monkey experiment, it goes something like this (and I’m paraphrasing).

He took 5 monkeys and put them at the bottom of the stairs and then put a bananaat the top. When one monkey approached the stairs, all 5 got sprayed with ice water. This was repeated until none of the monkeys tried to get the banana and resolved to remaining warm and dry. At this point, one of the monkeys was replaced with a new monkey. When this monkey went for the banana, the other 4 beat the sh** out of it. It was never sprayed. After this monkey was thrashed once or twice, yet another of the original 5 was substituted for a new one and it was yet again thrashed. The other monkey joined in to this monkey ass whooping with even more enthusiasm and vigor than the original four. No spraying. They replaced the third monkey to the same outcome; no monkey dared approach that damn banana. Eventually the fourth and fifth monkeys were also phased out slowly and initiated with the violent orientation whenever they approached the banana.

A new 6th monkey was introduced. And although none of the 5 monkeys that had been sprayed were there, the 5 in their place still handily dished out a thrashing to the new monkey when it tried to go for the banana. They had no reason to. They didn’t know about the water sprays and the cold that came with them. They didn’t know that they actually could have the banana now. Instead they made sure all other monkeys stayed in line. What line though, is questionable.

I read that and think of this.

 

Continue reading

Do We Love Or Hate Raila Odinga?

I don’t do politics. Or rather, I don’t do it well. I voted at the very last minute, and I ascribe to being truly Kenyan. I have no tribe. I get pissed whenever my daughter comes home from school with some tribal spew that she picked from a classmate.

Post Election Violence was frightening for me because for the first time, I saw friends judge my by my father’s tribe. I had people approach me in the office trying to get me to pick one side or the other. I had a stranger from *my tribe* walk up to me and talk ish about *that other tribe* in mother tongue. I pretended not to understand, so the Tanzanians watching us assumed that we were from opposing tribes. I guess I looked pretty hostile.

During PEV, I wasn’t in Nairobi. I was in Dar. I watched terrified but safe as CNN and Aljazeera aired the worst of the worst. I blogged about my feelings and received scathing responses. One reader suggested I should stop hiding in comfort, and that I should come back home and fight on the ground instead.

I sent him an email in response. I said it wasn’t his country burning – it was mine. I said he didn’t have family in danger – I did. I said I hoped he never felt as damaged and helpless as I did just then.

Whenever people in the news talk tribally, it shakes me to my core. It makes me remember just how bad things got, and just how bad things are. It shakes me even more that while some people are still living in tents on relief food, others are pretending to be IDPs so they can benefit from handouts. For every 3 genuine cases, there’s some leech trying to get what isn’t his – or hers. I know that’s human nature, but it stings, and it stings deep.

Today, while idling on Twitter, I tweavesdropped an exchange between @Nittzsah and @MisterNV, fellow members of the DR crew. I wondered what it was about, so I followed along to this article. It’s describes Raila Odinga from the writer’s perspective, which I fear is shared by a lot of people.

The writer feels that Raila isn’t serious or important enough to resolve the crisis in Cote d’Ivoire. He accuses Raila of political and ideological seasonal migration.

My hands always shake when I read stuff like this, because I fear that it will stoke idle fires. There’s still a lot of misplaced passion in the hearts of many Kenyans, and I’m afraid they’re just waiting for an excuse to let it out. So when I hear statements like this, I curl into a corner and start saying my rosary, and I’m not even Catholic.

Continue reading

The Ocampo 6 Are Getting 4.76 Billion Kshs For…What?

Ocampo 6
If you weren’t jealous to hear how plush their detention at retreat the Hague was going to be, a new reason to envy the crooks Ocampo identified as the orchestrators of the Post Election Violence has emerged. These guys are apparently slotted to get 4.76 BILLION of our shillings to foot their expenses. Continue reading