#RaphLove: The Definition of Trespass

Credit: #KOT

I’m sure by now, you’ve all heard the nasty stories about this blog’s good friend Rapho aka Tuju aka Raph Lover.

The short version of it is that Ogunda(this guy who got booted from the police for somehow money laundering) found his way into Raph Lover’s house wife which led to Raph filing for divorce. Around the same time, Ogunda also started filing for divorce from his wife as well. Anyway, after a few more back and forths in court for Raph Lover and Ogunda, Ogunda was found dead one morning in Raph Lover’s house.

When asked what he thought of the situation, Raph responded by saying:

“There was an existing court order that barred him (Mr Ogunda) from going to any of my premises and it’s unfortunate his death occurred at my premises.”

That’s just gangsta. The guy that was ploughing your wife just died in your house in an obvious murder and your reaction is the legalese version of “Well, that negro shouldna been there in the first place, let alone die there.” Continue reading

Courting The Youth Vote & Getting It Wrong

I was pleased to hear the youth vote will be a key factor in determining who will lead this country to hell again come the next general election. As a young person, I have never felt so WORTHY a citizen of this country. But even when this information came to light courtesy of some research firm (can someone please give me the stats?) I haven’t seen any RATIONAL effort by the current crop of aspiring politicians to court this youth vote. From a PERSONAL view (that’s MY opinion, not yours), everyone of our politicians seem to be getting it wrong. It’s evident in the public addresses, the TV ads and the body language. None of them seem to be speaking to ME.

I have asked myself, over and over again why this is the case?

Is it because, these aspirants cannot grasp the concept of youth? So much so that in their 40s, 50s and even 60s they consider themselves “youthful”? That, by the way is not just annoying.., it’s insulting. Certainly that’s no way to court us. It’s one thing to identify with our problems and general way of life, but it’s another to assume our identity.

Simply put, it would rile me to see my father (in his 60s) dress like my kid brother (in his 20s) – in skinny jeans and supras- just to show that he “identifies” with my brother’s youth. Everyone has their place in a team. Dad has to be the leader and act like it, while my brother, though empowered with a voter’s card gets a chance to monkey around until he’s at a certain age.

That said, I figured this morning, while brushing my teeth, that the reason our politicians don’t seem to be communicating to ALL youth is because no one has bothered to dissect and research on this huge, complex, invincible force so casually dismissed as YOUTH.

We are all so different. We have different needs and aspirations.

Not all of us are suffering, and not all of those who are want handouts . Not all of us are educated. Some of us choose not to get formal education, whether the resources are available or not. That doesn’t mean that those who don’t want to be in a classroom end up being thugs. Not every youth wants to go out party and dance. There’s a segment that would rather go home and read a book. That doesn’t mean that segment is saved or Muslim.

Not all of us want to be employed under Kazi Kwa Vijana, there’s a segment that would like to employ themselves. However, even the latter would rather not access the Youth Fund to see their dreams realized. Not every youth speaks sheng. They are those among us who detest it. Yet the youth who live in suburbia admire the ones in the slums that speak sheng and would love to be equally fluent. But then again, suburbia have their own slung. Has anyone bothered to address these high class youth segment in their preferred language. Oh, that’s right – they only only speak English and they don’t vote. You think?  Not every youth afflicted by poverty listens to reggae. Even suburban youth listen to reggae and not necessarily sufferer reggae. Not every unemployed youth drinks illicit brew or does drugs.

Most importantly, not every youth will listen to their parents or “village elders.”In fact, history has shown that the youth tend to do the opposite of what their elder counterparts DEMAND of them. But that’s not to say all youth are disobedient – and I use the term disobedient with caution.

Here’s the thing, it’s evident we youth have a mind of our own – a mind that changes very fast. One time we like something, the next we don’t. We are not as predictable as you assume we are. And to look at us as a unit, with similar interests and reactions is to insult us. The one thing we have in common though is that we have a powerful thing in our hands – a voter’s card. So if anyone cares about getting the youth vote and getting it right, you best put your money in some youth research in respect to current politics – hoping that the results you get are not cooked.

For now though, I’ll have to leave you standing at the podium doing your thing.

The Audacity of Hope: Karua, Tuju and Post-2012 Kenya

“Hope – Hope in the face of difficulty. Hope in the face of uncertainty. The audacity of hope! In the end, that is God’s greatest gift to us, the bedrock of this nation. A belief in things not seen. A belief that there are better days ahead.” – Barack Obama.

About two years ago, Martha Karua made no secret of her presidential ambitions and after wilfully resigning from Kibaki’s Cabinet, she has been hard at work campaigning and drumming up support for her bid.
About two weeks ago, Raphael Tuju resigned from his cushy job as Special Advisor to the President and declared that he is offering his candidature for President of Kenya in 2012.

These two are among the growing number of Presidential hopefuls seeking to challenge the two descendants from the two big political dynasties Kenyatta and Odinga, along with the rest of the candidates vying for CEO, Kenya 2012.

As far as political campaigns go, I’m sure that the hopefuls are hoping their new faces and fresh ideas trigger an Obama effect that will inspire wide-scale, cross-boundary support from the electorate. Although Kibaki is certainly no Bush, presidential aspirants will target the failings of his two-term administration and hope to sell themselves as the Change Agent that the voters and the country seek. They will promise to slay the twin-headed dragon that is corruption and impunity, they will have you convinced that once they’re elected the economy will be revitalised, jobs will be created and basic services will be improved for all Kenyans.

That said, the Obama effect as we know it, is unlikely to work here in Kenya.

Continue reading

#Rapho4Prezzo: “Redefining Raphael Tuju’s Candidacy”

Dear Raphael,

I saw your video and may I say, I was moved. If I was going to vote, I’d seriously consider voting for you. My pen would hover above the box next to your name for at least a few seconds as a smile smeared on my face.

But I do not think the nib would touch paper. Why, you ask? I don’t think you went quite far enough. You see, if you’re going to do a gimmick, you REALLY need to push the envelope. Yes, using Sheng is a good start, but you need a follow up. This was a love tap, let’s get a Haymaker and an uppercut. Let me show you how. Continue reading