Badvertising: “Spoof Ads by Diasporadical” Vol. 1

Now, if you’re on Twitter, you’ve probably seen most of these ‘spoof ads’ I put out there randomly during the day. But a lot of our readers are not are not online when the ads go up or are anti-social networking(read: cavemen).

So I’ve compiled them here and added one or two. Also because I’ve noted some of you are appropriating these to yourselves. Naughty, naughty. Behave, children.

Anyhow, enjoy and have a good weekend. Continue reading

Customer Care is Not Enough: Do More, Say Less, Be Better

In case the title didn’t aptly cover it, here’s a little explanation of what inspired this piece.

Yesterday morning, flights landing at Jomo Kenyatta International Airport were rerouted to neighboring countries’ runways. Reason being – to the best of my knowledge – that there was no power at the airport. The runway lights were off or not functioning, basically. I laughed.

You see, I had just seen the new KPLC…sorry, Kenya Power (roll eyes with me) ad*. And somewhere in the ad, I swear I saw planes taking off or landing. The irony was too blatant for a bored designer such as myself to not kill 25 minutes doing these mock ads.

Jokes aside, I didn’t stop churning these out by choice. Further irony imposed itself in the form of the blackout that knocked out my internet, halting my twitpic comedy hour prematurely. But why, you may ask, the ridicule? Continue reading

Customer Care at its Worst: “When Safaricom Meets Nokia Care”

Today, I climb atop this soapbox to tell you about Safaricom Customer Care and Nokia Care and why I’ll never deal with either company again.

Late last year I was upgrading my phone. So I let our followers on Twitter choose what phone I was going to get. Why? Because you guys give awesome advice. To answer your next question, yes, that moisture on your rump is me ass-kissing.

Anyhow, I ended up with a Nokia N8 from Safaricom (in spite of our history with them). I paid the full price – which was then the equivalent of a few goats and a cow – and waltzed out with a shiny phone and an iron clad warranty to match.

For months I used the phone and had no complaints. The 12 megapixel camera takes amazing pictures and the HD video is quite a riot. The 16GB internal memory was always more than enough and I never had any majore issue of the phone misbehaving that was not resolved by rebooting or updating.

So it was that one morning I turned the phone on, entered my lock code and received a ‘Code error’. I tried it again to no avail. Without hesitation, I quickly Googled this bug and found multiple accounts of similar qualms; some on Nokia Support Boards, others not. Heck, there’s even a Facebook Group & topic about it somewhere.

After some reading, I was reassured that this was a small system glitch that’s easily fixed by Nokia Customer Care. I called a local number and they told me know that all I had to do was drop my phone off where I bought it, they’d take it to Nokia Care and I’d get it back flashed and fresh.


I pulled out my little warranty and went to the Safaricom outlet where I bought the phone with my assistant, Michelle. We stood at the repair line for quite some time(30 or so minutes) before a little lady came and asked me whether I was there for repairs. I looked at the little sign that said ‘Repairs only’ and nodded. She asked ‘So what do you want?’ Continue reading

Daily Dozen: 25/01

Gbagbo will attempt to assuage Raila’s bruised ego [DN]
Is Safaricom toast? [FCK]
Kenya’s Banking Revolution [TIME]
A reading nation? [SMA]
Deforestation and Climate Change in Kenya [KFB]
The Economics of Big Love [NYT]
Episode 12: Too Tight For Men [Nairobi Nights]
They say we have freedom, but what about the scars? [TheIndependent]
WEF: Davos Would Be Wise to Remember Why It Works [CNN]
Secret papers reveal slow death of Middle East peace process [Guardian]
Urgent action needed to avert global hunger [BBC]
Nairobi Men [BikoZulu]

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Daily Dozen: 11/01

Girls Who Created Social Network for Farmers [KenyaNews]
IDEOS Android Is Now Available in Kenya [Twitter]
2011 INEC Nigeria Voter Registration Video [God Bless Pidgin English]
Global Barometer of Hope And Despair: Outlook On 2011 Economy [TIME]
Coming up with a name for a new nation: Southern Sudan [NB]
The Côte d’Ivoire prison hotel of election winner [M&G]
Is Raila Odinga evil or a man whose hands are tied? [KumeKucha]
Superstar Akon Gets Diplomatic Status From Senegal President [AN]
Gbagbo, the new Mugabe? [BoundarySentinel]
Kenyan Rapper Bamboo Signs Major Deal, Apparently [AHH]
Cash-strapped Zimbabwe Willing to Put Judiciary Up for Sale [News24]
Why guys should always make the first move … well … sort of [LilyReview]

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Daily Dozen 10/12

Time Magazine’s Top 10 Everything of 2010 [TIME]
Ali Mazrui speaks about an African half-century [Guardian]
The Kenyan Mobile Money Ecosystem [WhiteAfrican]
A weekly LEAK – nyuma ya gari [milonare]
“Dream of Nairobication” [Wyndago]
“The Evolution of Parliamentary Sovereignty in Kenya” [KenOpalo]
Nairobi commuter rail to be operational and ready for uprooting by 2012 [EAS]
Safaricom CEO confirms he has recieved your requests but is experiencing some delays. [Twitter]
Ivory Coast is a test case for Africa [BBC]
What Ranneberger told his boss about the culture of impunity in Kenya [GUK]
According to Johnnie Carson, China lacks ‘morals’ in Africa [AlJazeera]
Important tip for starting your own business [LikeChapaa]

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