Beware Horny Kenyans

Ladies and gentlemen, there is cause for concern. This time though, it’s not Kenyan women. Well, not 100%. See, it seems everybody’s hormones are fired up and raging, for no apparent reason.

Let me explain.

A good looking Kenyan, such as myself, was parking his car at Nairobi University’s Main Campus once upon a Wednesday afternoon. Oh yes, that car again. I was smelling as good as I usually do on Wednesdays, as I stepped out onto the campus. My mind was far away and my body was on autopilot. I was on a mission. “Walk to the office, get the document, back to the car, go home.”

Before I got 10 meters from the vehicle in question, a slender, gently scented hand placed itself on my chest and slowly slid up to my shoulder. I would’ve raised my eyebrow in alarm were I not already fully aware of how sexy I looked.

So instead I began to assess my assailant. Some under-clad twenteen year old girl stood before me smiling. I can’t lie, I can remember her chesticles better than her face. But to be fair, she had geography for breasts: Rift Valley as cleavage and Mt. Kilimanjaro on either side. And she seemed intent on making sure I got a good view as she shoved them in my stomach region. See, I’m about 6ft tall, and she was 5’3, maybe. Looking down, I felt like I could set my laptop atop that dashboard and begin surfing the web while having a discussion with her.

Eventually, after she was certain I had noticed all the goods she had in front of me, she asked “Where are you going?” Continue reading

That’s So Kenyan

Written by QQ

Last weekend, a bunch of bored Kenyans and myself were hanging out with a Malaysian girl we had all just met. After devising a plan and a destination we headed out. We crossed the road while oncoming traffic zoomed by, dodging a car here, a truck there, getting to the other side, breathless yet flushed with the thrill of courting danger. The Malaysian was still on the other side, at the traffic light, waiting for the cars to stop, and for the little red man to turn green and let her know it was safe to cross. Her ineptitude at crossing the road was hilarious to the rest of us. ‘Haha, were being so Kenyan!’
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