Utumishi Kwa Wote

Every time I see a cop, I tense up. It’s reflex. And no, it’s not just because of my hair.

It’s more because somewhere in my Kenyan life, I realised that cops were far more scary than thugs.

Some weeks back, Maina Kageni was promoting Safcom’s latest offer on Matatu FM. Something about Opera Mini, 10MB, and 8 bob. He asked guys to call in and explain how and why they use it.

This one guy called in. He was very eloquent, spoke pretty good English with a bit of slang thrown in. I think he might have been from Buru [don’t ask me why].

I was paying attention until he said he was a cop. Apparently, he uses his Safcom to browse while he works.

The only part that Maina heard was ‘cop’. He immediately diverted to ‘Afande vipi’  mode, and the previously polished cop downgraded to the Kiganjo accent. He and Maina carried a two-minute dialogue in full policeman register, complete with the mixtures of Cs and Gs. It should have been quite funny, but I just got upset. Continue reading