Curb HIV Spread; Shave Women’s Heads

Every time we mention Zimbabwe, it seems to be based on an individual’s ludicrous behavior. This time is no different.

Two Senators in the government there seem to have some genius solutions on how to curb their already declining HIV prevalence.

One gentleman, a Mr. Fernai, suggests that women’s attractiveness is the problem. He’s of the opinion that government should pass laws to make sure these girls are as smelly and unattractive as possible. Continue reading

Mboro, Biscuits, Ice Cream and Gynecological Healing

Zimbabwe is famous for a few things: Mugabe, the Victoria Falls, naming people after days and holidays and now Mboro.

That’s Pastor Prophet Paseka Motsoeneng Mboro to you. You see, you only call him Mboro when he has his fingers(or his foot) in your biscuit. And by ‘biscuit’, I mean ‘lady parts’.

That’s right, this pastor heals worshippers and releases their demons by sticking his digits in their…biscuits.

I apologize in advance because I will quote the large bulk of this article; it’s pure gold.

“As he was praying for her she collapsed. Motsoeneng then told the teenager, who was lying on her back, to open her legs, which she did.
He then plunged his fingers into her private parts and started moving his fingers inside her vagina.
As he was busy with his “healing process”, Motsoeneng ordered her to call him by his nickname, Mboro.

“Say Mboro,” he ordered her.

“Mboro” she said, with a stifled cry.

He was interrupted by a female congregant who brought him a glassful of what looked like ice-cream, which she spoon fed him. He was still sitting on the woman’s lap.”

Continue reading

Raila, Bob and How Broke is Zimbabwe, Really?

You’ve got to hand it to African dictators leaders; their creativity when it comes to ensuring they remain in office is quite uncanny.

This one however, much as it may sound like a bad joke or something Uncle Bob would say to remain behind the Rhodesian reins, is actually fact. Zimbabwe is entirely too broke to have elections. So they won’t. Continue reading

Daily Dozen: 21/02

‘Happy Birthday, Mr. Dictator’ [AllAfrica]
Africa is not poor. But She must spread the wealth! [Economist]
Kenya’s object lesson to Cairo on how hope can be raised and then crushed [DN]
Is the rest of Africa ready to revolt? [BBC]
Some Resort in Garissa. Apparently [Wordpress]
2045: The Year Man Becomes Immortal [TIME]
Where dictators go when their time’s up [M&G]
Letter to Luis Moreno Ocampo [TLR]
Negative Ethnicity [Wyndago]
Kenya’s Mobile & Internet, by the Numbers [WA]
Partying Amid Poverty Stirs South Africa Debate [IHT]
Facebook Rolling Out Gay Friendly Relationship Status [TM]

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Daily Dozen: 14/01

Kenyans and Their Peculiar Habits [Twitter]
Which is the best internet service provider in Kenya? [LikeChapaa]
“Ideally, elections are held to choose leaders, but in many cases in Africa, elections are intended to dress up despots in democratic garb.” [Guardian]
Somalia’s new PM says government troops will target Al-Qaeda “very, very soon” [IOL]
Why is Winnie Still Using the Mandela surname anyways? [BBC]
Can Europe Be Saved? [NYT]
Territorial Triumph and Geopolitical Pitfalls in South Sudan [HuffPost]
Once again, Africa is in love [AN]
Does race determine efficiency? [WT]
Things Your Boss Won’t Tell You [Yahoo!]
The Science of “Single”: One Year’s Worth of Dating Advice [TIME]
Why doing a PhD is often a waste of time. [Economist]

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Daily Dozen: 11/01

Girls Who Created Social Network for Farmers [KenyaNews]
IDEOS Android Is Now Available in Kenya [Twitter]
2011 INEC Nigeria Voter Registration Video [God Bless Pidgin English]
Global Barometer of Hope And Despair: Outlook On 2011 Economy [TIME]
Coming up with a name for a new nation: Southern Sudan [NB]
The Côte d’Ivoire prison hotel of election winner [M&G]
Is Raila Odinga evil or a man whose hands are tied? [KumeKucha]
Superstar Akon Gets Diplomatic Status From Senegal President [AN]
Gbagbo, the new Mugabe? [BoundarySentinel]
Kenyan Rapper Bamboo Signs Major Deal, Apparently [AHH]
Cash-strapped Zimbabwe Willing to Put Judiciary Up for Sale [News24]
Why guys should always make the first move … well … sort of [LilyReview]

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