The New & Improved Zuku

We complained about Zuku last year. A lot.

Twice, the complaints were by myself and once they came from our resident ‘purple-haired Ranting Swede‘. In the comments, dozens of you joined in with your own queries and even more were sent by email. Zuku responded. You retaliated. It was messy.

Then late last year, Zuku reached out to Diasporadical privately, asking if we would help them in piloting and testing some new services(including fibre broadband internet). To be honest, the entire team was just too busy in the last quarter of last year and the first one of this year, so that project somehow vanished from our radars.

Until about a month ago when a young man in Zuku branded attire knocked on our doors.

He swooned us with promises of high speed internet(by Kenyan standards) at ridiculously low rates. Put it this way, we were paying about 1,500/= a month for 512kbps. According to the traveling salesman, we’d now we’d be paying 1,999 for 4mbps. That’s 8 times the speed for…500bob more? Continue reading

And now it’s Yu

I’ll keep this short and sweet. My siblings know me as a complainer. I must hold some kind of record for being the Whiner of the Year. Too bad it doesn’t come with a cash prize.

I’ve been quiet for a while, because I’ve been under the weather, under my blanket, and under my computer, earning money and looking miserable. It’s the eyebags.

So, when my little brother asked me to do a rant about Yu lines, I sat on it for a little while. I had words with Safcom on a really bad day, which appeared to some as sour grapes. And I now adore Zuku since they’ve totally styled up – for me at least.

But it seemed a little picky to … pick … on Yu. After all, I like Yu. Continue reading

Zuku … seriously?!

I do a lot of customer care work for my clients, mostly with artists. And artists come with egos. And temperaments. And bitch fits. So I know what it’s like to be polite when someone is spewing a lot of bull.

But really, Zuku this is a bit too much.

My business runs primarily online. Which means no internet = no money. I switched from using Orange because every time it rained [or shined … uh .. shone, or the wind blew, or anything really] the internet would go off. Plus, Orange sucks at webcam.

So I went with Zuku. It’s fast, it’s reliable, and it’s pocket friendly. There’s just ONE thing wrong with it. The customer care people suck.

I’d been warned about this over and over and over, but I figured they can’t be that bad, right? I mean as long as  I pay my bills on time, I don’t have to deal with *&%@^!*#$&; so it’ll be fine, right?

Continue reading

6 Most Useless Kenyan Service Providers

There are services on which we have built our country that still remain unapologetically pathetic. Frankly, I can’t think of one area of service in Kenya for which I can say “That’s a well oiled up-to-date machine.” None. Meanwhile, I can pinpoint quite a few total failures. For the large part however, our country is plagued by average bare-minimum-type organizations. In this massive pool of mediocrity, pathetic-ness and incompetency, 6 particular services have managed to float to the surface as the end-all-be-all of Useless Kenyan Service provisions. In increasing order of uselessness, they are:

6. Zuku

Oh, Zuku. We’ve been down this road before. So to avoid seeming biased, let’s perform the objective “Google Test”. Continue reading

The SoapBox: “Zuku, Bad Drivers and Bad Roads”

First off, to our loyal readers, thank you for your concern and messages. We are still active, but unfortunately, we’ve been having a few technical difficulties at the DR offices. All of which are the subject of this week’s issue of ‘The SoapBox’.


I’m a huge proponent and supporter of giving people Internet access and cable. Matter of fact, if Zuku hadn’t emerged, I’d have sold my cows and invested all the resulting capital in the same field. Kudos to them for doing us a great service.

That being said, they are idiots.

There is a way in which Kenyans have traded in their common sense for business sense. Continue reading